


Darkness Is Sinking, Commanding My Soul

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Eventual happy end, Heavy Angst, M/M, Malec's sacrifice, Maryse is a good parent, Set after 3x10, Some spoilers from the books in later chapters, Torture, hurt!Alec, hurt!Magnus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:11:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Magnus and Alec went to Edom together, Alec making a deal with Asmodeus himself. Staying in Edom in order to save Jace. Magnus didn't agree with his father's conditions, however, when he portalled them back to New York, Alec didn't come with him and Asmodeus blocked him a way back to Edom. So now, Magnus is forced with harsh reality of Alec being stuck in Edom with his father.Asmodeus' plans are anything but innocent. Going to such extents as to prevent people from going to Edom, just what does the prince of hell plan to do with Alec? And will Magnus and the gang be able to save Alec?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slyfighter2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyfighter2011/gifts).



> Sequel to [Facing Edom Together](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623545/chapters/33795768) :)
> 
> Also big thanks to slyfighter2011 for giving me wonderful ideas on how to continue this particular story. I'm not very good at writing darker fics, but I'll try to do it justice ;). Bear with me and I hope the first chapter is good :)

Magnus was ruined, completely wrecked. His loft was in a total, complete chaos as he was trying to cope with the lost of Alec, who was now stuck in Edom, which was all of his fault, Magnus feeling sick down to his stomach and he didn’t know what to do. Trading his magic for Jace didn’t sound as stupid anymore, at least Alexander would be safe and sound, in his arms and not suffering in Edom. Hell. Magnus gritted his teeth and looked around his loft. He tried to find another way to Edom, but he couldn’t think of anything since all of his attempts failed. It was just a few hours since he had come back from Edom, but it felt like eternity. 

Magnus called Catarina for help, telling her everything, asking and begging her if she could go to Edom instead. But, even her magic, wasn’t strong enough to break down the barrier Asmodeus had put up. She also couldn’t portal herself to Edom and Magnus was completely horrified. Just exactly what was his father planning to do with Alec?! If he went to such lengths to prevent them from going to Edom, it had to be something serious. And bad, so very, very bad. 

Magnus’ lower lip started trembling as he felt fear nestling in his chest and he then cursed, sending a ball of magic against the wall, trying to blow some steam, but it didn’t help. Oh, God, just exactly what did he do?! Sent Alec to doom and he couldn’t even imagine how Maryse and the others were going to react. It was bad enough that Magnus hated himself, he couldn’t have other people hating on him as well. But it was going to happen. He had just gained Maryse’s trust. And now he betrayed that, chewing on his lower lip and he tried his best to keep his emotions under control, but he couldn’t. 

Without Alec, knowing that his father was probably going to torture him, Magnus was a mess and he pictured Alec alone, lost in the depths of hell. That was when Magnus completely broke down and he allowed emotions to wash over him, clutching at his chest as he felt his heart being ripped spread open. It hurt, he couldn’t breathe. He just wanted to be alone in his sorrow. Catarina came over earlier, but he begged her to go home. He couldn't deal with other people. Not now. He needed time to clear his thoughts, to pick himself up, to make a plan on how to bring Alec back. 

There needed to be another way, there always what. Maybe asking Clary for help? She owed him big time now and since her portals used different magic than one of a warlock, maybe they would be able to make their way to Edom. That was the last straw of hope Magnus still had in his heart and he ran fingers through his hair, pulling onto it and he let out a small sob of frustration. 

Yes, Magnus Bane, was completely wrecked and broken. Before, his father had asked him to stay in Edom and he wouldn’t. Now, he wanted to go there more than anything, but couldn't. How ironic was that? Magnus let out something that resembled a laugh, but it was a desperate one, mixed with sobs. His father came up with the perfect way to torture him and Alec. 

The door of Magnus’ loft was wide open, things laying scattered around, so one could easily just step inside. And one did. The one and only, Lorenzo Rey, came to see Magnus, and the current High warlock of Brooklyn was the last person Magnus wanted to see right now. In a way, this was all Lorenzo’s fault. If only he didn’t cancel his request, then none of this would happen. Lorenzo did that just in spite of him, because he hated him. And before he told him he wouldn’t mind watching Alec die. Magnus’ stomach made a flip and he felt so, so angry. He was shocked at himself, because he had never felt so angry in his life. But little did he know that his anger was just about to get worse.

“Magnus Bane,” said Lorenzo in a  _ cheerful _ tone of voice. Magnus didn’t look at him. He wouldn’t. “What in the world happened in here? Did you and your lover boy had a little quarrel?” said Lorenzo, really pushing that and Magnus barely restrained himself from walking right up to the other warlock and strangle him with his bare hands. He wouldn’t even use his magic to do it either. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I just came here to tell you some good news. Because of your attack earlier, you’ll get a well-deserved punishment.  _ Banishment _ . It’s all been decided and-”

“ _ You, _ ” groaned Magnus and finally looked up, his breathing laboured and magic was flying underneath his fingers. It wasn’t orange, no, it was red.  _ Dark _ red, the kind his father taught him how to use to torture innocent people when he was still in Edom. It made Magnus’ skin crawl when he thought about using it, but  _ now _ , oh now it was going to come in handy, because Lorenzo was going to be a dead man. Soon. 

“Bane?”

“ _ You _ ruined everything,” growled Magnus and got onto his legs. Yes, Lorenzo was at fault that all of this had happened. He lost his position, Lorenzo took credit for things he did to save the world, he was the one who was to blame that Alec was now stuck in Edom and now he was attempting to banish him. Lorenzo had crossed the line, Magnus didn’t care what would happen to him for attacking the high warlock. 

The coldness in Magnus’ voice was chilling, the tears from before drying up and even Magnus was afraid of his own voice. Inside, he was raging, mad, screaming. Every part of his body wanted to kill Lorenzo, to make him suffer like Alec was going to be suffering down there. “I did no such thing,” managed to say Lorenzo, but was taking steps back as Magnus started coming closer.

“ _ You _ took the position of high warlock from me,” growled Magnus and sent the first blow of magic at Lorenzo’s way, who hit the wall with a loud thump and Magnus’ glamour was down again as he started coming closer again, dark magic on display again and that sent chills down Lorenzo’s spine. “You took credit for the things  _ I _ did,” said Magnus and pinned Lorenzo against the wall with his  _ dark _ magic and almost smiled when Lorenzo’s loud screams of pain filled his loft. 

“ _ Stop _ ,” let out Lorenzo and managed to hit Magnus with magic as well, but Magnus soon stood up and came closer to Lorenzo. “I didn’t do anything, you allowed to get things too personally. And it cost you your position. I know when to put the line, before things get too personal. And now, you’re paying for your mistakes,” said Lorenzo and cursed, because his throat hurt as Magnus’ magic was constricting and burning him there before.

“Alec’s now gone because of  _ you _ ,” said Magnus, his voice low and Lorenzo didn’t know what was going on. At all. “Because of  _ you _ he went to Edom with me, to ask my father for help,” said Magnus and magic was flying again all around him, he couldn’t control himself even if he wanted. Before Lorenzo could protect himself, Magnus’ magic wrapped around his body like a python would around its prey and Magnus squeezed tighter. “Alexander is now trapped there and it’s your fault,” spat Magnus, but knew it wasn’t Lorenzo’s fault. Not entirely. Magnus blamed himself more than anyone else, but it was easier to blame someone else.

“Stop, this is not my… ah-!” yelled out Lorenzo and his eyes widened when Magnus lifted him off the ground and his screams got louder as magic got tighter around him and Magnus smiled. Now, this was what Lorenzo deserved. His face, twisted in pain, was what Magnus liked and he pressed his lips together.

“Yes it is!” yelled out Magnus, far too gone to know what he was doing. Once he’d come back to his senses, he wouldn’t be proud of himself, but at the moment he didn’t care. He just wanted to hurt Lorenzo, like he hurt him. Deep inside, he knew it was wrong, he was just like his father now. Cruel. But being cruel was better than to actually allow himself to  _ feel _ the pain of losing Alec.

“You said you wouldn’t mind watching me see the man I love die,” said Magnus and Lorenzo yelled out again, trying to break free, but couldn’t. Magnus’ smirk grew bigger when he made Lorenzo’s leg twist under a weird angle and then a loud  _ pop _ was heard. The sound of bones breaking. That combined with Lorenzo’s screams was like music to Magnus’s ears. He then pinned Lorenzo against the wall and let him go. At least with his magic and gave Lorenzo just enough time for him to heal his own broken leg. 

But Lorenzo wasn’t quick enough, Magnus grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall, banging him against it two, three times. He looked down when he saw Lorenzo’s magic flying underneath his fingers and he growled. “ _ Don’t even think about it _ ,” hissed Magnus.

As he held Lorenzo with one hand, he punched him with his other one, because Lorenzo started  _ laughing _ . The son of a bitch  _ laughed _ at him. Just like that. Probably enjoy watching him being in such a big pain. That was when Magnus truly lost it.

Magnus wanted to kill Lorenzo and at the moment, he was actually capable of doing that. Yes, he could easily snap his neck. But then, his own eyes widened, because he got afraid of himself. The things he did before, torture, that wasn’t him. And now this  _ wish _ , the  _ need _ to kill Lorenzo. No, this was what his father would want him to do. This wasn’t him. 

“What are you waiting for?” challenged him Lorenzo. “Kill me. Do it,” hissed the other and Magnus squeezed his shirt tighter.

“Because of  _ you _ Alexander is in Edom,” said Magnus.

“No, it’s  _ your _ fault,” spat Lorenzo back and that was enough to bring Magnus back to his senses. His eyes widened and his stomach twisted in a knot, tears welling up and he gritted his teeth as he was crumbling apart in front of Lorenzo. He didn’t want to give him that satisfaction to see him completely break down, but he couldn’t help himself. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming, he couldn’t… Lorenzo was right. “Hurts, doesn’t it? You’ll have to live with that for the rest of you miserable immortal life that you sent your own lover boy to his own doom and-”

“Shut up!” yelled out Magnus and tears started streaming down his face. “Shut up! Not another word, you don’t mention Alec!”

“That still doesn’t change the fact-”

“Get out!” said Magnus and rammed Lorenzo against the wall again. “Get the hell out!”

Magnus’ eyes widened when another person stepped inside of his loft. 

It was Maryse Lightwood. After things got to normal, as much as they could, she decided to go check up on Magnus and Alec, to show her gratitude to Magnus for helping them. Again. However, she was worried when she saw the door of Magnus’ loft wide opened and the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. Magnus was holding the high warlock hostage, but the other was talking something about Magnus being banished and Magnus was  _ sobbing _ . 

Lorenzo Rey. His reputation proceeded him. A man without a heart. Selfish. Cruel.

Maryse didn’t know what was going on, but seeing Magnus in tears was enough for her to interfere and she quickly stomped over to the two of them. “You’ve heard the man,” spat Maryse and looked at Lorenzo, Magnus quickly releasing him. “Get the hell out of there,” she then said, her motherly protective instinct kicking in and she glared at Lorenzo, who wanted to say something, but Maryse was having none of it. “Out!” she growled and Lorenzo only laughed.

“Very well,” said Lorenzo. “This isn't the end, Bane, don’t forget that,” said Lorenzo and decided to leave, because Maryse being over meant even more pain for Magnus and that amused him. 

When Lorenzo portalled himself off, deadly silence fell between them and Magnus looked down. Maryse was there. Great. How on Earth was he going to tell her about Alexander? He gritted his teeth and tears continued streaming down his face. Maryse looked at him and then looked around the loft. “Oh, thank god he’s gone now,” said Alec’s mother. “I took care of him,” she then added, trying to cheer up Magnus, but it wasn’t working. “Magnus?”

“Thank you,” whispered Magnus and went to his couch, collapsing on top of it as his legs gave up on him. Maryse quickly went after Magnus and sat next to him, placed her hand on top of his shoulder and Magnus tensed up at the touch, his guilt even worsening. It was clawing at his chest, digging into his heart, piercing his entire soul. “I’m so sorry,” whispered Magnus and Maryse frowned.

“Whatever for?” asked Maryse and then looked around. Magnus’ tears, the loft in complete mess… Also, where was Alec?! Maryse’s heart sunk and she quickly let out a gasp.  _ Oh no. _ “Magnus,” said Maryse slowly. “Where-where is Alec?” asked Maryse. 

Magnus held his breath in for a moment and then sobbed again. “Gone.”

“My boy’s dead?” asked Maryse, tears in her eyes and she covered her mouth with a hand. “Oh my god, Alec-”

“He isn’t dead. At least not yet,” said Magnus and slowly looked up. “He’s trapped in Edom… and it’s all my fault,” said Magnus through his teeth and his face twisted in pain again. “He insisted on going with me… I shouldn’t allow him… to come with me,” stammered Magnus and shook his head. “But he’s so damn stubborn, he wouldn’t listen to me and… he made a deal with my father,” whispered Magnus. “In order to save Jace, he agreed to stay in Edom for two months, I.... my father is a cruel man, a demon, he…. the things he’ll put Alec through,” whispered Magnus and stopped to catch a breath. “I tried going to Edom again, but I can’t… he blocked the way, put on a wall… I asked my friend for help, but it didn’t work. So-so whatever my father is planning to do with Alexander… has to be horrible. And I allowed all of that happen,” said Magnus and then grew angry again. “I am so, so sorry.”

“Magnus...” said Maryse slowly after she heard all of that. Yes, she was worried for Alec, but at least he wasn’t dead. He was still alive. Magnus looked up at her and cursed, because Maryse was just quietly sitting there. Did she hate him?

“You have every right to hate me,” whispered Magnus. “Because I hate myself too.”

“Oh, Magnus,” whispered Maryse, on the verge of tears and she shook her head. “There was nothing you could do. I know my son, he’s the most stubborn person I know. But, he’s also tough, so your father...” started Maryse and Magnus broke down again. “I don’t hate you, Magnus.”

“I’m so sorry,” sobbed Magnus. That was all he could say. 

Maryse’s heart broke. “Oh, you poor boy,” said the woman and cupped Magnus’ face. Even though Magnus was centuries old warlock, right now, he looked so fragile, reminding her of just a boy that needed a hug. And that was what Magnus needed. A break. Someone to tell him everything was going to be okay. 

Magnus’ eyes were full of tears and his glamour dropped when Maryse cupped his face. All his memories about his own mother resurfaced and she just pulled Magnus in for a tight hug, patting his head as he broke down in tears again, his loud sobs filling the room.

“It’s okay, we’ll get Alec back,” said Maryse as her own eyes were wet with tears. Her heart was breaking for Alec, who was probably in a big danger. But also her heart was twisting for Magnus, poor man was completely broken and she held him tight to herself, allowing Magnus to take his time with calming down.

* * *

Jace was walking home, devastated about Clary’s death. He just couldn’t wait to go to the Institute and walk right into Alec’s embrace. He was probably waiting for him there. He was sure of it.

Then he felt a splitting pain where his  _ parabatai _ rune was and his eyes widened, his breath cut off and he fell on his knees, clutching at the rune that connected him with his brother. 

_ What the hell was going on? _

Alec was crying in pain. 

Begging for help.

He had never felt this kind of pain, he could feel Alec sobbing in pain. It burned his skin, Alec’s entire body was on fire and Jace threw up. 

“Alec!” yelled out Jace and fell forwards, catching himself on his hands and screamed again. 


	2. Chapter 2

It took Magnus quite some time to finally calm down, but in the end, he realised that he needed to get himself together if he wanted to save Alexander. Every passing minute was lost time and he didn't want to waste any more time, so he decided to suck it up and agreed to go to the Institute, where he thought Clary was. Neither he nor Maryse knew actually what happened to Clary, so Magnus was going to ask her for help; to get him to Edom. His heart was beating fast, that was the only thing he had left. If this failed, then he didn't know what he would do; he would probably go crazy with guilt and worry for Alexander.

As he created a portal, he felt Maryse taking his hand, because he was shaking again and he managed to give the woman a weak smile, before the two of them stepped through the portal. _Together_ , like he and Alec did when they went to Edom, when Magnus took Alec to meet his doom. Magnus’ stomach dropped again at his own train of thoughts and he cursed under his breath and he bit his lower lip. “Let’s do this,” whispered Magnus to himself and then he and Maryse were gone, standing in the Institute in the next moment.

Magnus was panicking, looking around, searching for either Jace or Izzy so that they could take him to Clary. However, he couldn’t find either of them and he looked at Maryse, who placed a hand on top of his shoulder and told him that she was going to go look for her children and bring them to him. Magnus didn’t really want to be left alone at this point, but what could he do? He managed a little nod and a tiny thank you, then he went back to making a plan on how to bring Alec back once Clary would create a portal over to Edom.

It had to work. It would work. Clary was powerful with her angelic blood, so maybe his father wouldn’t be able to trace her portal and then he would go over to his father and take Alec away from his paws. However, it didn’t look like Maryse was coming over any time soon, so he started growing very uneasy, feeling the other’s looks on him. He didn’t belong there, he knew that much, but usually, with Alexander around, he didn’t mind. Well, he knew that he was better than all of the judgemental Shadowhunters combined at the Institute. But now, he felt so, so lost and he just wished that others would leave him alone, lifting his head up when he saw some people pointing at him, whispers heard behind his back and he gritted his teeth.

Well, truth be told, he didn’t belong there. Not after what he did, he didn’t have a right to set a foot inside of the Institute. As the High Warlock of Brooklyn he had some power and respect from the Shadowhunters before, but now… people were looking down on him and for the first time in _centuries_ that actually bothered him. He started biting his nails, chipping away his nail polish and he let out a hitched breath. What the hell was taking Maryse so long?! Magnus felt his legs giving up on him again, so he dragged his tired body to the nearby wall and leaned against it, closing his eyes and he started taking in deep breaths.

_Everything was going to be okay. The will save Alexander. Things always managed to go back to normal at the end, so everything was going to be okay._

With that Magnus was trying to calm himself down, not that it was really helping. However, when he opened his eyes, he saw Jace standing in the distance and his heart leapt to his throat, feeling a spark of hope somewhere in within him, so he quickly hurried over to Jace, who was panicking, looking around, searching for something. Searching for _someone_ was what Magnus quite quickly realised and he swallowed back his own feelings and tried to focus on the things that matter. Jace’s eyes widened when he saw Magnus and he quickly started walking his way too, because he needed some answers.

Jace’s _parabatai_ was rune still felt like it was on fire, but unlike before, when he could hear Alec yelling out for help, this time, he heard nothing. It was like Alec was blacked out or unconscious, which made his worries even worsen and with Magnus standing there, Alec not with him, was when Jace truly panicked and he literally ran to Magnus, the look of sheer horror and panic on Jace’s face getting to Magnus. Also, where was Clary?! She was supposed to be there, she was supposed to come to the Institute with Jace, so that they could use her powers to create the portal, so that they could save Alexander.

“Magnus, oh thank God you’re here,” whispered Jace and clutched at his _parabatai_ rune and let out a moan of discomfort and Magnus’ stomach dropped when he saw that. “Oh, fuck,” said Jace and forced himself to stand up. “What the hell happened to Alec? Where is he?” he asked and started looking around. “Did he get hurt? I can feel him, he’s in pain,” stammered Jace and pressed his lips together when something crossed his mind. _Nothing hurts more than parabatai losing the other part of their soul_. “By the Angel, is he dying?”

“Alexander, he, um,” stammered Magnus and looked down, his heart breaking when he heard that Alec was in pain and he wanted to scream. And he did scream, letting out a loud yell, screaming on the top of his lungs Jace’s eyes widened when he saw Magnus losing control over his magic again. “He’s in pain?” asked Magnus and then fresh tears welled up in his eyes.

“He’s suffering,” replied Jace, his own face twisted in pain again. “Magnus, where is he? You’re scaring me.”

“In Edom,” whispered Magnus and Jace’s face went blank, he then narrowed his eyes. “In order for you to return back to normal, I needed to pay my father… Asmodeus,” stammered Magnus and bit into his lower lip. “A visit,” he then said and Jace made a step back.

“Asmodeus is your father?” asked Jace in disbelief. “The Greater Demon is your fa-”

“Now’s not the time to pass that kind of judgement!” snapped Magnus, who knew that look on Jace’s face all too well. _Judgement._ And honestly, it hurt him. It wasn’t like he _chose_ Asmodeus to be his father. He shook his head and then pressed a hand against his forehead. “We needed my father’s help for you to return back to normal,” said Magnus and gritted his teeth. “Alexander, he, insisted on coming with me… he wouldn’t listen. I _told_ him it was too dangerous, but he went with me,” whispered the warlock and Jace’s eyes filled with horror again. “In exchange for his help, my father wanted a favour. Alexander made a deal with him, he agreed to stay in Edom for a couple of months,” whispered Magnus and then looked down, Jace looking beyond pissed.

“And you _allowed_ Alec to do that?!” snapped Jace, whose worry got the best of him and he went closer to Magnus. “You _allowed_ my _parabatai_ to get stuck in there!” barked Jace and Magnus narrowed his eyes.

“I didn’t,” snapped Magnus because he didn't allow the blond idiot to look down on him. It was enough that he blamed himself, so he wasn’t going to allow this one to make him feel worse than he already was. “I tried to get him out of there, but it was too late, Alexander had made a deal with my father and couldn’t pass the portal with me. He’s stuck there,” stammered Magnus and barely restrained himself for punching Jace. And honestly, Alexander risked his life for him. Magnus scoffed and then looked up. “I tried creating portals to Edom again and they… don’t work. I can’t go there and neither can my friends.”

“Oh, that’s just fantastic,” barked Jace.

“But I have a solution that could work,” started Magnus. “It seems like my father put on a barrier that prevents warlocks from going to Edom. However, if we used a _different_ kind of magic maybe we could go there,” said the warlock and Jace arched an eyebrow, because he didn’t know where Magnus was going with that. At all. “Clary,” he said and Jace quickly looked down. “She can create portals that are different from mine, her magic is different. So if we use her powers, we could-” started explaining Magnus, but then his voice trailed off when Jace looked down and Magnus’ eyes widened when he saw Jace’s shoulders shaking and he was shocked when he heard Jace’s soft sniffles.

“Jace?”

Jace slowly looked up at him and he quickly wiped away his tears, but couldn’t prevent new ones from falling and he gritted his teeth. “Clary won’t be able to help,” stammered Jace and shook his head. “Clary… she, um,” stammered the blond one. “She’s dead, Magnus,” whispered Jace and leaned against the wall, because he felt like throwing up.

“What?!” asked Magnus, his stomach dropping and he felt sick as well. Not only because that meant that his own plan of bringing Alec back went to hell, but Clary was dead?! The girl he watched grow up into a beautiful young woman, the girl who used to draw at his place as a child when her mother brought her over to have her memories erased, the girl… “No, no, no,” whispered Magnus and placed a hand on top of his mouth and shook his head.

Jace looked down and bit his lower lip, but he was breaking down again and he slowly looked at Magnus, whose face was wet with tears again and deadly silence fell between them. “Clary’s dead,” stammered Jace. “Oh God, no,” stammered Jace and then let out a loud scream of pain. “Alec, he’s in hell now because of me… Clary’s dead because of me… oh God what did I do,” managed to force out Jace in between his sobs and Magnus’ heart was breaking for Alec’s _parabatai._

Slowly, Magnus wrapped a hand around Jace’s shoulder and pulled him in for something that resembled a hug. Both of them were hurting, Magnus crying in silence for Clary. And for Alexander. Everything was a mess, Magnus’ thoughts all jumbled up and he was forcing himself not to break down again. He had cried enough that day, he needed to suck it up. For Clary and Alec.

“I’m so sorry, Jace,” said Magnus. “I’m sorry for your loss and I’m so sorry for what happened to Alec. It’s all my fault,” stammered Magnus and Jace said nothing. But his silence spoke volumes; Jace _blamed_ him for what happened to Alec. Sure, he blamed himself, but Magnus as well, the warlock wasn’t a fool. And honestly, Magnus couldn’t say anything, because it really was his fault.

The longer that Magnus stayed at the Institute, the worse and more unwanted he felt. Somehow, the word of Alec being stuck in Edom thanks to Magnus, got out. Probably someone overhearing Maryse’s conversation with Robert when she called her ex-husband for help. Or maybe Robert leaked the information. Probably the latter; Magnus and Robert weren’t on good terms at all, so maybe that was Robert’s way of getting him out of Alec’s and their lives for good.

People’s stares, whispers, judgements passed behind his back, glares… it was all too much for Magnus and he needed to get the hell out of there. He stood up abruptly and headed for the door, just when a very worried Isabelle stepped through the door. “Magnus!” said Isabelle and Magnus felt his stomach dropping. No, he couldn’t have another person judging him right now. “I heard what happened with Alec, I feel…” started Isabelle and then her eyes widened, because Magnus only walked past by her. “Magnus, stop! Hey, wait up!” she said and ran after him, grabbing his wrist to make him stop.

“Isabelle, I need to go, please,” stammered Magnus and felt sick down to his stomach. “Please let me go,” whispered Magnus and Isabelle quickly released him when she heard the desperation in his voice. Before she could stop him, Magnus was already running for the exit door and collapsed on his knees when he was outside and buried his face into his palms.

How the hell was he now going to bring Alec back?!

The situation seemed helpless.

* * *

“ _Wake up!_ ” yelled out a voice and Alec was finally snapped back to reality. He struggled to move, but then was reminded of the magical restrains around his body and as he moved, every inch of his body hurt. No, not hurt, but _burnt_ , his entire skin felt like it was on fire. But, compared to the pain before, this was nothing. His head was bowed down and he forced himself to look up, looking around and he hissed, fear nestling within him when he saw Asmodeus coming closer to him again. There was this kind, but cold, evil smirk on his face that sent chills down Alec’s face and he swallowed thickly.

“You mortals are so weak,” said Asmodeus and Alec said nothing. He just stayed quiet and pressed his lips together when Asmodeus was standing really close to him, his glamour dropped and for the first time, he came to hate those cat eyes. But they were nothing like Magnus’. Magnus’ were beautiful and kind, warm, full of love. _Asmodeus’_ ones were cruel and filled with darkness, desire to hurt. “Now, are you prepared to talk?”

Alec’s entire body shook. Asmodeus was trying to get some information out from him before, details about Magnus. Things that were dear to Magnus, people that he loved. But, so far, Alec was able to keep his mouth shut. He knew that the demon would use those things to hurt Magnus. “I’m not telling you anything,” said Alec and gritted his teeth when his skin started burning again.

“Oh, I will get you to talk, Shadowhunter,” said Asmodeus with an evil grin and Alec’s eyes filled with horror when he saw dark red magic under Asmodeus’ fingers again and he closed his eyes, remembering Magnus. Remembering Magnus calmed him down a bit, it made him forget where he was, but he was snapped back to reality when a burning sensation shot right through his body and he screamed out on top of his lungs.

Asmodeus was enjoying himself. Oh, yes was indeed. He hadn’t tortured an angel blooded creature before and causing it pain brought him joy. To watch something so pure be tainted, corrupted with dark magic was beautiful and the things he had planned for Alec were much, much darker than the little torture he was putting Alec through.

“Fuck you,” spat Alec out and arched his back when the pain worsened again. “I won’t allow you to hurt Magnus,” he then forced out and Asmodeus laughed.

“Oh, an honourable man you are,” said Asmodeus. “Your love for my son is quite strong, I’ll give you that. But,” said the demon. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be serving only me, you’ll tell me _everything_ that I need to know. You’ll help me bring my son back do Edom,” said Asmodeus, who was now standing really close to Alec.

Alec felt his blood boiling with anger. “ _Never_ ,” he hissed and then spat right into Asmodeus’ face. The man was pathetic, there was no way he’d bow down to him and allow him to hurt Magnus.

That angered Asmodeus, a Shadowhunter showing him disrespect like that. He was the _prince_ of Edom and a maddened expression spread across his face as his magic started burning Alec alive again. He healed his wounds from before, only to be able to hurt him all over again and Alec’s eyes rolled back into his head. And he screamed and screamed, his loud screams of pain being the only thing heard throughout the entire Edom.

He screamed for Magnus.

He screamed for Jace.

He screamed for help.

But it never came.

Alec’s screams for help only ended when he passed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was this? Okay? Too dark? Not dark enough? Please tell me down in the comments what you think lol, I feel lost XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sending a big thank you to slyfighter2011 for giving me a few pointers on what should I include in this chapter. I hope you'll like it :)

Three weeks.

Three weeks of pure torture and agony had been behind Alec. He was counting the days down in Edom, they were passing by painfully slowly and the only thought that really got Alec going was that his friends and family were okay. That Jace and Magnus were okay, healthy and fine. It didn’t matter what would happen to him. Even though Asmodeus’ torturing had gotten worse with each day, almost a month had been after him and he had just one more month to survive. He was sure that he got this, everything would be okay. Just one more month and he’d see Magnus soon enough. Run into his arms, Magnus scooping him up in his arms and then everything was going to be okay.

That was really the only thing that kept Alec going. The only thing that prevented the Shadowhunter from going mad down in the depths of hell. Oh yes, this indeed was hell. Asmodeus was a cruel, cruel man and it made him wonder just exactly what kind of horrible things had he put Magnus through as a child. The things he _made_ him do. That sent chills up his spine and he slowly lifted himself up into a sitting position.

He was locked away in a dark and smelly room, and couldn’t see anything. But he felt hot, his skin was burning and everything hurt. After Asmodeus was done with his torture sessions, he always healed his wounds. So technically he kept his end of the promise, Alec wasn’t _hurt…_ in some kind of a fucked up logic. That was because he didn’t want Alec to accidentally drop dead. He needed Alec alive, to get more information out of him. But Alec wouldn’t bow down, no matter how much the demon tortured him, he said nothing. He wouldn’t allow this creature to cause any pain to the man he loved. Not on his watch.

However, Alec was slowly slipping, he knew that much. The days were getting harder, sometimes he begged Asmodeus to just end it all. To just kill him and free him of this agony. He _begged_ the man for help; Shadowhunter begged the demon to help him. It was freaking crazy, but when Asmodeus was torturing him, Alec couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t think of anything, he could just focus on how much it hurt and how much he wanted the pain to end. So, yes, he was prepared to do everything for the pain to stop. Minus the option that involved him giving Asmodeus information about Magnus. But even that… Alec wasn’t sure how much longer could he keep up.

_Only one more month, you’ve got this. You’re a Lightwood, you’ll be fine._

Alec’s eyes widened when an image of his mother flashed in front of his eyes and he felt his stomach twisting in a knot. But it didn’t stop there, he started remembering everyone. Isabelle, Jace, Maryse, even Robert, Max… Clary, Simon and all of the others. Yes, he might not like the vampire and the redhead at first, but they grew on him. Now he’d do anything just to see anyone of them. Just to see a familiar face. His family.

Magnus.

Yes, Magnus was his family now and Alec’s heart ached because he knew that Magnus was probably trying to bring him back, even though Asmodeus tried to brainwash him into thinking that Magnus had already moved on and no one was missing him in New York. That was a blatant lie, Alec knew all of them were trying to bring him back. He had trust in his family and friends and the one he trusted the most was… Magnus. His heart broke again and he closed his eyes as tears started welling up in them and he looked up, trying to move and he let out a small moan of discomfort.

_It hurt, everything hurt._

Suddenly the candles on the walls lit up and Alec’s eyes filled with horror and he started shaking his head. No, no, no, not again. Asmodeus was feeling bored and was there to amuse himself with torturing him again. Alec felt sick and he wanted to run, but even if he did run, he wouldn’t be able to hide. He did manage to escape Asmodeus once, but the demon found him. Of course he did, this was _his_ realm, so he knew every part of it. And the consequences for running away were… horrible. Asmodeus made sure to punish him, which was the day that he almost managed to kill the Shadowhunter, but then stopped right before Alec’s vital signs gave up on him.

Alec squeezed himself against the wall and his entire body started shaking when he heard footsteps. Slow, lazy, but firm footsteps, which Alec already knew what meant. Alec swallowed thickly and he then bit into his lower lip, looking up and he was horrified when he saw Asmodeus standing there in his full glory. Alec had to look away, because it was too much, the demon smiling.

Oh, yes, Asmodeus was smiling, his heart was almost laughing. Because Alec Lightwood had started to crack and it was beautiful. At first, he was tough, he had to hand it to the young man, but even someone like Alec started to crack at some point. He slowly made his way to the Shadowhunter, who was shaking like crazy and Asmodeus then leaned down next to him, Alec’s eyes widening when he felt a pat on his head and he quickly looked up, feeling disgusted when Asmodeus caressed his cheek.

“You poor, poor, boy,” crooned Asmodeus and Alec quickly moved away from him.

“Stay the hell away from me,” managed to hiss Alec and he quickly regretted his words, because Asmodeus magic pinned him against the wall. He hit the wall with a loud thump, his head banging against it and Alec had to force himself not to slip away so soon. He had gotten weak during the three weeks down there.

“It hurts me that I have to hurt such a pretty face,” said Asmodeus and that fake kindness in his voice was what got Alec the most. It made his skin crawl. Asmodeus made his was closer to him and watching Alec being terrified of him like that amused him. “No hard feelings, right? All I want is to be reunited with my precious son. And as a father I’m prepared to do everything in my power to achieve that. But you can’t understand that, can you? A father’s love is-”

“What you’re doing isn’t love,” snapped Alec, because it pissed him off to be listening to all of this. Asmodeus claiming that he loved Magnus sickened him. What kind of a twisted, fucked up love was he talking about?! “You don’t love Magnus,” said Alec. “This is your way of taking a revenge because he decided to leave you all of-”

“ _Silence,_ ” hissed Asmodeus and Alec quickly stopped talking. “And I _will_ get you to talk, even if you’re putting this little brave face on right now, we both know how terrified you really are.”

“Bring it on,” challenged him Alec. “If you haven’t noticed, you’re slowly running out of time. Only a month now and then I’m a free man. Even though this three weeks had been hell, I’ll make sure to survive the other few ones,” said Alec and his eyes darkened with anger. “I won’t allow a demon such as yourself to break me,” said Alec and then he frowned, because Asmodeus started laughing.

The prince of hell was laughing, his loud and deep laughter echoing in the empty room and Alec didn’t like the sound of that. His laughter was cold and evil, it made Alec freeze on the spot and he didn’t get it why the other was laughing like this.

“Three weeks?” asked Asmodeus. “You’ve only been here for three days.”

Alec’s stomach dropped. “W-what?” stammered Alec and shook his head. “N-no, this isn’t possible. I’ve been counting the days… it’s three weeks today, I know, I-”

“Time passes differently here in Edom,” said Asmodeus and Alec sent him a horrified look and he shook his head. No, no, no, this couldn’t be! “While it might had been three weeks down here, it’s only been three _days_ in your realm,” announced the demon and Alec wanted to scream and yell. Was Asmodeus saying the truth? Or was this another way of him trying to break him?! Though Alec did remember something about time passing differently in other realms, it was what he studied when he was…

“No!” yelled Alec as horror washed over his body. “Y-you can’t do this, you bastard. You tricked me!”

“It’s you who agreed to make a deal with me,” said Asmodeus, smirking.

“But, two months…”

“Well, we’ve never specified which two months should we be counting, did we?” asked Asmodeus and a maddened smile spread across his face. “ _My_ conditions were two months of you down here according to how slowly time passes in your realm,” said Asmodeus and Alec wanted to throw up. And punch him, squeeze the life out of Asmodeus. “So, seeing as you’ve only been in here for three _days_ ,” said Asmodeus. “I still have plenty of time to bring you down, _Shadowhunter,_ ” said Asmodeus and Alec swallowed thickly as a lump formed in his throat.

The thought that he had already served the half time of the given time he would be spending down in Edom was what kept Alec going. Yes, the thought of Magnus and the others as well, but the hope that this would be ending _soon_ played a big part. And now Asmodeus telling him that he had only served three _days_ out of two months… it crushed Alec. Completely.

“So… are you prepared to talk now?”

Alec didn’t reply, he couldn’t. He was still too shocked about the fact that he had only been in there for three days and he didn’t even register Asmodeus coming closer to him.

“Very well,” replied Asmodeus and smirked and stepped closer to Alec, whose screams for help filled Edom soon after.

* * *

Magnus was completely out of it, it had been three days since Alec had been trapped in Edom and he wasn’t any closer to getting him back either. Magnus didn’t want to admit it. No, he was getting Alec back. He has completely closed himself off from other people. His wards were up around his loft, so no one could bother him. Maryse, Jace and Isabelle had come to check up on him, telling him that they were coming up with a plan to save Alec, but Magnus couldn’t face them. Not after what happened in the Institute, he blamed himself far too much and working with other Shadowhunters while having their judgemental stares on him would bring him even more pain.

Magnus even closed himself off from his dear friend, Catarina Loss. She was worried about him, but he wouldn’t reply. Not to her fire messages, not to her phone calls, not when she came to check up on him on person. No. He just wanted to be alone, needed to cross out every possibility.

And then there was Clary’s death that saddened him. Her death had gotten to him, it was like what tipped him over and that day, he was drinking himself into a stupor, because being drunk was what he preferred than to be feeling the pain, the guilt. Three days of it and he was already a mess. What worried him even more was the fact that Jace mentioned Alec was in pain. His father was torturing him, was what Magnus guessed.

He gave him an empty promise to not hurt Alec, but it wasn’t the part of the actual deal; the deal was… Alec staying there in Edom while he’d get enough magic to free Jace from Lilith’s control. He knew his father well enough; he was a master of manipulation. To Alec, the deal seemed quite good, Asmodeus made it sound so simple, but now, Alec was probably regretting his decision. Magnus gritted his teeth and he shook his head.

Magnus looked around. He was in Central Park, standing at the entrance to the realm of the Seelie Queen.

Magnus was out of potions, he really was. He studied every book, every potion, and every spell that would allow him to get to Edom. He had tried _everything_ that he could think of, but none of his attempts were successful, he was always met with disappointment and he found himself in a dead end. So, then another thought crossed his mind. Asking the Seelie Queen for help, maybe she had another way of getting down to Edom. Chances were slim, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

What did he have to lose?

Absolutely nothing.

Magnus had already lost everything. He was stripped down of his position as the high warlock, Lorenzo had banished him and he had lost Alexander. There was nothing more to lose, so in his intoxicated state, he decided to pay her _majesty_ a little visit. The Queen would probably ask for a favour, for something in return, but Magnus didn’t care. He really didn’t; he was prepared to give up his magic and his immortal soul to save Alec. The Queen would get what she’d ask for.

Magnus was desperate.

The warlock stood on the bridge for a while. He was hesitating whether he should go through with it or not. Maybe getting involved with the Seelie Queen would have even worse consequences for Alexander. Magnus narrowed his eyes and he took in a deep breath as he gripped onto the fence. But how much worse could things get?!

_It can always get worse._

He let out a hitched breath and looked at the running water underneath the bridge and he then looked back up, looking up at the stars and he pressed his lips together. He had made up his mind, he was going to ask the Queen for help. Maybe this time it was going to be different, maybe she would take pity on him and actually helped him

Well, he doubted that.

The cool breeze woke Magnus up from his thinking and he then let out a hitched breath, trying to clear his thoughts, which was kind of impossible given the amount of alcohol he had consumed prior to that. It was stupid to be drinking at a time like that, but what could he do?

Magnus stood there for a little while, contemplating what to do. But then, thinking about Alec begging and yelling for help was enough to put all of his doubts to rest and he leaned over the bridge again, nodding to himself. He took in a deep breath and just as he was about to let go, something caught his attention. In the corner of his eye, he saw a figure passing by him, walking, moving fast. The thing that caught his attention was the person’s hair.

Long, red hair. The kind Magnus could never miss it, it reminded him of Clary.

Clary?

Magnus turned around and saw the same person now on the other side of the park. Magnus quickly let go of the fence and started chasing the person, who quickly disappeared and Magnus narrowed his eyes. He rubbed his eyes. Wait, what?! Wasn’t Clary dead?! Jace said so… was he only seeing things? He was quite intoxicated, so he could easily just…

No.

As he turned around, the same person was standing not too far away from him, not facing him. Magnus’ heart went to his throat and he tried to get her attention. “Clary?!” he yelled out and the person turned around. Painfully slowly, it seemed like a scene straight out of the horror movie and Magnus felt chills when he found himself staring face to face with the girl.

Yes, it was Clary.

Magnus felt relief washing over him. Clarissa was alive and well. He almost smiled, they would maybe finally be able to save Alec and-

Then Clary smiled. It was a maddened smile and Magnus quickly made a step back. _This_ wasn’t Clary, at least not the Clary he knew!

“Clary?” tried the warlock again. “Hey, can you hear me?” he tried.

Nothing.

Silence.

Magnus was told that Clary went missing together with Jonathan and Lilith. All of them thought that Clary was dead, but… She clearly wasn’t!

“Biscuit, it’s me… Magnus,” said Magnus, slowly stepping closer. Maybe she couldn’t remember? Only God knew what happened to her after Lilith had been defeated, where she disappeared off to. “Can you hear me?”

Then just like that, Clary’s eyes darkened and before Magnus could do anything else, she was already gone. And Magnus just stood there… trying to make some sense of what had just happened. Something was off with Clary. But she was alive! And that was what Magnus decided to focus on. Maybe if they would be able to find Clary and get her back to normal, then they would have a way to Edom as well!

With that on his mind, Magnus portalled himself straight to the Institute and hoped that others would believe him what he had just witnessed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: descriptions of the death of some of the beloved characters (it's not really real, but still... putting a trigger warning up here just to be safe).  
> Again, thanks to Slyfighter2011 for helping me with this chapter! :) I hope it turned out okay ^^.

Alec slowly opened his eyes, moaning out in discomfort as he forced himself up into sitting position and he quite quickly noticed that something was wrong. The candles in the room were lit up, which usually wasn't the case and his eyes widened when he saw that the door of the room in which Asmodeus kept him as a prisoner was wide open. That sent chills down Alec's spine and he almost got onto his legs to run away, but then he stopped when he remembered the time he attempted to escape and his stomach twisted.

Maybe Asmodeus left the door wide open on purpose. Of course, it was on purpose, he was the Prince of hell, the master of torture and manipulation. Alec swallowed and then decided not to take the bait. But there was still that _what if._ Alec then looked to the other side of the room and almost had a heart attack when he saw droplets of blood leading to a puddle of blood. By the Angel! Whose blood was it?! It wasn't his own! The trail of blood led a way out of the room and Alec decided to go see what the hell was going on. There was so much blood, oh God, what was going on when he was out of it?!

It didn't take too long for Alec to get a reply. Just as he stepped out of the room, he saw two bodies laying against the wall, lifeless and not moving. A redhead and a blond. When Alec recognised the bodies were actually Clary and Jace, a loud, piercing scream left his mouth and he quickly ran to their side and he fell to his knees, shaking his head.

_No, no, no, this wasn't happening!_

How did Clary and Jace make it to Edom? Well, it didn't matter. What worried Alec was that they weren't moving. Clary’s eyes were wide open, face twisted in horror and her clothes were soaked with blood. She was so pale and her eyes were empty. Lifeless. “No, no, oh my God please don't be dead!” yelled out Alec and shook Clary, not daring to check up on Jace. He couldn't. Then his gaze fell down and his heart broke when he saw that Jace and Clary were holding hands. Tears welled up in Alec's eyes and he shook his head. “Clary, come on. Fray, stop scaring me! Say something!” sobbed Alec and then finally looked at Jace, who was lying lifeless as well.

“Jace! Please you can't be dead too, you just can’t!” stammered Alec and quickly moved over to his _parabatai_ and then gently tapped his cheek. Nothing. And his skin felt so, so cold, which made Alec’s heart fall down to the pit of his stomach and he felt sick. He was going to throw up. His throat squeezed and he struggled to breathe, to get that much-needed air into his lungs, but it was impossible.

Alec gently pressed his fingers against Jace’s neck, trying to find his pulse. He was _hoping_ he was going to feel _something,_ but he was met with disappointment and he felt the feeling of horror rising within him. Jace was dead. When he thought that, it felt so surreal. It surely couldn’t be real? In panic, he lifted his shirt and his eyes widened when he couldn’t find his _parabatai_ rune. Okay, what the hell was going on?! Alec looked at his brother again and he started shaking his head as he bowed his head down and a loud scream of pain left his mouth.

He screamed and screamed. This hurt more than all of the weeks of torture Asmodeus put him through. Seeing his brother and his friend _dead_. And because of him. They came to save him and now they were dead. Asmodeus killed them. He clutched at his chest, the feeling of guilt unbearable. And then, someone whispered out his name. He recognised the voice, it belonged to Isabelle, his little sister. She sounded so weak and desperate. She sounded like she was in pain.

Alec looked up, ignoring the tears streaming down his face and his eyes widened when he saw Isabelle not too far from him. He narrowed his eyes. He had passed that place before and she was not there. Or was she? It didn’t matter. He quickly stood up and his knees buckled when he saw a Seraph blade rammed in her stomach. She was still bleeding, but she was still alive, her eyes begging him to come closer. And he did, kneeling next to her and he slowly held Isabelle’s head.

“Izzy, oh my God,” stammered Alec and looked at her wound. Isabelle’s eyes were closing, but she managed to open them and a faint smile spread across her face when her eyes found her brother’s. “No, Izzy, keep your eyes on me. Don’t you dare to close your eyes, please, I’m begging you… Izzy, I can’t lose you too,” whispered Alec and shook his head.

“Alec,” stammered Isabelle and Alec’s eyes welled up, biting his lip and he managed a little smile, trying to let Isabelle know that everything would be okay. “I… am… so… sorry,” stammered Isabelle. “We didn’t manage to save you. I… was… too… weak,” she said and Alec started panicking because she was slipping away.

“No, no, no… what are you saying? Izzy, you aren’t weak!” said Alec and swallowed back his tears. “This,” he said and pointed to her wound. “Is nothing really. Magnus will fix you up, you’ll see, everything will be okay. And then we’ll go to New York and… oh God… Izzy!” yelled out Alec when Isabelle closed her eyes, but then managed to open them again.

“Tell mom I’m sorry, yes?” whispered the girl.

“No, please you can’t… Jace and Clary, they-”

“We weren’t fast enough,” managed to say Isabelle. “We tried to save you, we tried our best. But,” she said and her voice trailed off.

“You’ll be fine,” stammered Alec and held his sister’s hand. “We’ll get out of here, both of us, alive,” said Alec and then pressed his lips together. “How did you get here, huh?”

“Magnus, he...”

“Magnus is here?” asked Alec and nodded. “Good, good. Then he’ll portal us-”

“I love you, Alec,” said Isabelle and tears were running down her face. “Don’t you ever forget that, yes?” she asked and all that Alec could do was to nod as he was bawling his eyes out and then Isabelle slowly closed her eyes. He was gripping onto her hand and bit his lower lip when she suddenly went limp in his arms.

“No!” screamed out Alec and shook his head, wrapped his arms around the body of his sister and squeezed her close to himself, rocking back and forth as he was sobbing. Every now and then he’d let out a loud scream of pain… he screamed and screamed, until his voice gave up on him, throat sore and he squeezed Isabelle closer to himself, then slowly pulled back and he pressed his lips together, gently removed some of the hair that was falling over Isabelle’s face, but he wouldn’t let go of her, he couldn’t.

This was his little sister, the person he grew up with, protected with everything he had… And now she was dead because of _him._ He should have protected her, but he didn’t! He should have protected all of them, he was the oldest brother. And he failed all of them, all of them were dead because of him. Because he wasn’t there for them. That twisted his stomach in a knot and he screamed again, banging against the floor with his fists as he was trying to calm himself down, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to.

Alec banged against the floor and walls until his knuckles started bleeding and even then he didn’t stop. He wanted it to hurt, he wanted the pain from his heart to move somewhere else because of this… _this_ heartache was something that he couldn’t handle. Then, someone called out his name. A gentle voice, full of worry and Alec slowly looked up, but couldn’t see anyone. He looked back down at Isabelle, but then a voice called out for him and this time Alec recognised the voice.

_Magnus._

Isabelle said that he came with them! Alec’s stomach twisted and he felt sick again, fearing the worst. What if Asmodeus hurt Magnus too?! Or what if… God, Alec didn’t even want to think about that. What if… Asmodeus did something worse? Like he did to his siblings and Clary?! Alec quickly got onto his legs and started looking around frantically.

“Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay,” was chanting Alec to himself as he was walking around, searching for Magnus.

“Alexander,” whispered Magnus and Alec froze, turning around and there he saw Magnus. And he looked unharmed. There were no bruises, no wounds, no blood on him. Oh thank God, at least Magnus appeared to be okay. “Oh God, Alexander,” whispered Magnus and tears started rolling down Magnus’ face, Alec’s eyes welling up again.

“Magnus, oh thank God, you’re okay,” whispered Alec, but when he was about to go closer to Magnus, the warlock made a step back.

“They’re all dead,” said Magnus and Alec wanted to scream again. The way Magnus said it, it was like he blamed _him._ “Isabelle, Clarissa, Jace,” whispered Magnus and shook his head. “... all dead,” said Magnus and Alec covered his ears with his hands, because he knew it was his fault. But to have Magnus blame him for it. That was even worse. “Because of you,” said Magnus and Alec choked up.

“I didn’t-”

“You did this to us,” said Magnus and Alec shook his head. No, this wasn’t Magnus. This wasn’t _his_ Magnus. But even if Alec _knew_ that, that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Magnus blaming him for it cut right into his heart, like a blade, piercing his heart over and over again and he couldn’t breathe.

“I know, I’m sorry,” sobbed Alec. “I ruined everything, this is all my fault,” cried Alec and pulled his hair out of frustration. “I wish it would have been me, not them,” he said and fell down to his knees. “Oh God,” he said and buried his face in his palms. He looked up at Magnus and the other wore a cold expression on his face. There was no love in his eyes and Alec had to look away.

Magnus hated him.

Of course, he did, he hated himself as well.

“If you had just let me go alone your siblings would still be alive. We’d still be together,” said Magnus, his voice cold and Alec swallowed back a sob. This had to be a trick, of course. _His_ Magnus would never blame him for something like this. Even so, Alec couldn’t stop himself from breaking down completely.

He screamed again and then his eyes widened because he could hear _laughing_. Asmodeus’ laughing, chills running up his spine and when he looked up again, Magnus wasn’t there anymore. As Alec looked around where the bodies of his siblings were, they were gone too. What was going on?! Alec quickly got onto his legs and tried to find trail of blood on the floor from before.

_Nothing._

Asmodeus started laughing again and Alec froze, looking around frantically. Asmodeus wasn’t there, he was completely alone. It was like the bodies and Magnus _vanished_. Then it hit him, the things he had seen before… they weren’t real, were they? They were just a part of Asmodeus’ tricks, the demon was playing a game with him. To him, this was all just a game, but to Alec it was sheer torture, worse than all of the physical pain the demon had put him through. And the laughing had gotten even louder.

“ _All your fault,_ ” said a voice inside of Alec’s head and he quickly shook his head, put his hands on top of his hears, but that didn’t make Asmodeus’ voice go away from his head, no. “ _You killed them,_ ” said a voice and Alec screamed again, trying to convince himself that it wasn’t real. But, seeing his siblings dead like this… Izzy _dying_ in his arms before. It all felt so real and the guilt still lingered around as he tried to calm himself a little bit.

“It’s not real,” whispered Alec to himself. “None of it was real… not my fault,” said Alec to himself and Asmodeus started laughing again, finally appearing next to him and Alec quickly got onto his leg prepared to fight Asmodeus.

“Oh playing with you sure is fun, Shadowhunter,” said Asmodeus with a wicked grin on his face and then slowly rubbed his palms. “You’re beginning to crack… slowly, but we’re getting there, soon… you’ll be completely broken. Now _that_ will be beautiful, I will _ruin_ you… _destroy-_ ”

“You don’t scare me, demon. This little mind tricks won’t get you anywhere,” spat Alec and Asmodeus narrowed his eyes, but then he grinned and then looked to Alec’s right. The hunter’s eyes widened when Asmodeus looked there and all of the colour left his face when he saw what Asmodeus was looking at.

Magnus was laying not too far from them, bleeding, coughing up blood… his face was pale, he was dying and…

“Stop!” screamed Alec. Yes, he knew it wasn’t real, but seeing Magnus dying, slipping away in front of him. “Stop it, you monster… stop it!” kept yelling Alec, because Asmodeus wouldn’t stop and a loud ‘no’ left his mouth when Magnus went completely limp, Alec falling down onto his knees, clutching at his chest and he sobbed. “ _Stop_ , please,” whispered Alec and Asmodeus grinned.

Shadowhunter was _begging._

“I’ll make you watch them die again and again,” announced Asmodeus and Alec slowly looked up, then glanced to his right, where Magnus’ body was before, but was gone now and he then sent a frightened look to Asmodeus. “I can get pretty creative,” said Asmodeus, wishing that he had picked _this_ kind of torture from the very beginning. The physical torture wasn’t bringing him anywhere, but _this…_ now _this_ was certainty a lot more effective and a lot more fun.

“No, no… please _don’t,_ ” begged Alec and Asmodeus narrowed his eyes.

“Prepared to talk?”

“I-I,” hesitated Alec, but then thought about Magnus and decided to do anything in his power to keep Magnus safe. That was the only thing that was still keeping him alive down there anyway, him keeping his mouth shut. Also, no guilt would be worse than betraying Magnus, so he quickly shook his head and Asmodeus’ face darkened.

“Very well!” said Asmodeus, his voice loud. “Now, let me have some more fun with you,” said Asmodeus and Alec swallowed thickly, mentally preparing himself for whatever the demon had in store for him.

* * *

 

“No, no… you don’t listen to me. Clary, she was in the Central Park when I wanted to go to the Seelie Queen,” said Magnus for what felt like a hundredth time and he felt like crying, because no one seemed to believe him. He was in the Institute, talking with Isabelle, Maryse and a few other Shadowhunters that Magnus didn’t know and he gritted his teeth when Isabelle gave him a look of disbelief.

“Magnus, Clary’s dead,” said Isabelle and Magnus groaned.

“You’ve been drinking,” said Maryse, who could smell alcohol on the warlock, and Magnus gave her an offended look, but said nothing. “You know what I meant. Maybe you _thought_ you’ve seen her,” said Maryse, trying to make some sense of what Magnus was saying.

“I _know_ what I’ve seen, Maryse,” hissed Magnus and then banged with his fists against the table. “If you could only listen to me, then we could track Clary down. Then, she would take us to Edom and we would be able to bring Alexander back,” said Magnus, his head still feeling a bit fuzzy from the consumed alcohol.

“Magnus,” whispered Isabelle and placed a hand over Magnus’ hand. “We all want to bring Alec back, but we need-”

“You _don’t_ listen,” hissed Magnus and glared at Alec’s mother and sister, then looked around and was quite surprised that Jace wasn’t there. Well, he was grieving probably, but Magnus needed to tell him the news. He then looked down, because the other Shadowhunters of the Institute were mocking him. Some of them wore expressions of judgement and disgust when they would look at him, but Magnus didn’t really care for that. He just wished someone would _listen,_ because all of them were just blatantly ignoring him. “Where’s Jace?”

“Jace, um, he isn’t feeling well,” said Maryse. “He’s in his room, resting… dealing with the death of your loved one is a hard thing to accept,” whispered Maryse and her eyes welled up, because she was able to hear sobs and sniffles coming from Jace’s room every time she’d walk past it. “That combined with the loss of his _parabatai…_ ”

“He needs rest, he-”

“What’s going on here?!” suddenly barked a voice and all of them turned around and Magnus’ eyes widened when he saw Jace coming closer to him. Jace was a mess… he looked even worse than him and Magnus felt bad for the blond. “There’s a meeting? Why haven’t I been informed about it?! Especially if it has to do something with bringing Alec back!” ordered Jace to know and Isabelle looked down, Maryse sighing as she looked back at her son.

“You don’t have to force yourself, Jace,” whispered Maryse. “You need some time off and-”

“What I need is to find Alec,” said Jace and went closer to Magnus. “Magnus… can I talk with you in private?” asked Jace, needing to speak with the warlock some place alone. Before, he was listening to their conversation and something caught his attention. Magnus said that he had seen Clary! And Magnus wasn’t the only one who had seen Clary after she had been supposedly killed. She showed herself to Jace as well, but he never said anything. He thought that this was just because of his grief, that he was seeing things. He didn’t want the others to think he was losing it.

Magnus followed Jace into his room and then turned around when Jace pointed to his bed, for him to sit down. “I’ve heard what you’ve been talking about earlier,” said Jace and cleared his throat. “You said you’ve seen Clary?” asked Jace and the air in the room suddenly thickened, because Magnus didn’t know what to say. Maybe it really was the alcohol, but it seemed so real. But rising false hopes for a grieving man like Jace would be horrible and Magnus didn’t want to create even more pain for him.

“I was drinking and-”

“No, cut that crap with me, Magnus,” said Jace and shook his head. “ _I_ have seen her too,” said Jace and then ran his fingers through his hair, Magnus’ heart making a jump and he looked at him. “I thought I was losing it, but… maybe I’m not after all,” said Jace. “So please you have to tell me the truth, Magnus.”

“You believe me,” whispered Magnus and then nodded. “Yes, I’ve seen her… but Clary wasn’t exactly…”

“Clary,” jumped Jace in and nodded. “Her eyes… are dark,” he stammered and shuddered. “It’s like she’s been possessed,” stammered Jace and was convinced enough that Magnus really did see her back there in the park, because she matched both of their descriptions.

“Exactly!” exclaimed Magnus.

“Oh, thank God, we still have some hope left,” said Jace and then took in a deep breath. “We need to make a plan on how to bring Clary back here and then-”

“We?” asked Magnus. “As in the two of us working together?” asked the warlock, just to make sure.

“Yeah, why not?” asked Jace and took in a deep breath. “The others won’t believe us and just tell us that we’re seeing things because we’re desperate and grieving,” said Jace. “Are you in?” he then asked and Magnus took a few moments to think about it and decided that the blond had a point.

“I’m in,” said Magnus. “Let’s bring Clary and Alec back,” said Magnus and Jace nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just heads up: from this point on, this work will involve some spoilers from the books, especially the part that has to deal with Clary. Just putting a warning here if you don't want to spoil some things for yourself in case you haven't read the books XD.

At first Magnus thought that working together with Jace was going to be a good idea, but a few hours later, he was already regretting his life decisions. Both, he and Jace, were men with huge, big egos and neither of them was ready to back down for the other to lead their search mission. So, there they were, trying to figure it out who was going to be the one doing the tracking on Clary. Jace had one of her shirts in his room, so both of them agreed that using that was going to help them with tracking Jace’s girlfriend. However, after that, things started going downhill.

Magnus was slowly losing his patience, working with Jace Herondale was a pain in the ass, there was no other way of putting it. He didn’t know how Alexander dealt with him as a  _ parabatai _ , it was beyond him. He was scowling at the blond as the other was now going down the list of things which made him better at tracking than Magnus. Jace narrowed his eyes when he noticed that Magnus wasn’t listening to him  _ at all _ and he rolled his eyes. Magnus folded his arms on top of his chest. Man, Jace was rolling his eyes so much that it made him wonder how they didn’t fall out of his eye sockets by this point. 

“Look, Magnus,” started Jace again and the warlock groaned, because he could feel a headache coming up and he would much rather be stuck in Edom with Alec by this point. However, the thought didn’t seem funny at all and he quickly collected himself, because if they wouldn’t start agreeing at some point, they wouldn’t get anywhere. “I know Clary like you don’t. I love her,” said Jace and Magnus scoffed.

“And you want to make me believe that because of your feelings for her your tracking will be stronger than mine?” asked Magnus and then pressed his lips together. “ _ Warlock _ tracking is stronger, there’s no other way around that. I use real magic, unlike you,” he said and Jace sent him an unamused look. “If we want to find Alexander and Clary, you must listen to me,” said Magnus and Jace wanted to say something back, something that would put Magnus back in his place, but then he reminded himself that now wasn’t the time. Also, they really needed to start agreeing and working together.

“Fine.” Jace then huffed under his breath. “I’ll try tracking Clay down first and if I fail, then it’s your move, warlock,” challenged him Jace and Magnus stayed quiet, nodded, but he wished that Jace would just shut the fuck up. He knew of a perfect spell that would close the blond’s mouth for good and then he would have peace. 

Magnus then took in a deep breath and started massaging his temples as he stood back and watched Jace trying to concentrate on tracking. The blond activated his tracking rune, gripped onto his girlfriend’s shirt and then he closed his eyes, pressing his lips together and let out a deep breath. Magnus said nothing, even though he didn’t agree with the idiot, he was quiet, because he didn’t want to distract him. Just in case, maybe Jace would have luck. If he found Clay then the two of them could finally-

“It’s not working,” said Jace and whined, shaking his head. “It’s useless… I can  _ feel _ her, but, I can’t see her. Nor where she is,” said Jace and looked around to face Magnus, worry written all over his face. “A simple tracking rune  _ should _ work unless there’s some kind of magic involved,” he then said and Magnus nodded, because he knew that Jace had a point. That made his stomach twist in a knot and he cleared his throat. Maybe if he used his magic to track Clary down they would have more luck. “Here, you try it,” said Jace when he admitted defeat. In principle, he knew that warlock’s tracking was stronger, it was just his big ego that didn’t allow him to admit that earlier.

Magnus took the shirt when it was handed to him and then took in a deep breath, concentrating on Clary, trying to find her. His eyes went closed and he narrowed, because something was  _ off. _ Just like Jace before, he could feel her through his tracking magic, but he couldn’t see her. He tried harder, concentrated more and Jace’s eyes widened when he saw magic flying around Magnus as the warlock frowned and let out a small groan and then tried again and again.

There was something or  _ someone _ preventing them from seeing where Clary was taken, but the warlock wasn’t going down without a fight, so he braced himself as he tried a more powerful spell of tracking and he bit into his lower lip, because it was working. Somehow, but not like it should properly. He could see that Clary was in a dark room, but there was still some kind of a wall that prevented Magnus from seeing more, the exact location. However, he had a feeling that she wasn’t in New York anymore and that confused the hell out of Magnus. How could she leave? He had just seen her a few  _ hours _ ago.

Magnus tried to focus a bit harder as he tried to locate the dark room in which Clary was currently sitting in. He could see Clary, she was… scared. Unlike the last time he had seen her, she didn’t have that possessed look on her face.  _ This _ was the Clary he knew and liked and his eyes widened when the door opened and he perked up when a ray of sunlight brightened the room. Then, someone stepped inside of the room and Clary quickly went closer to the wall and started shaking her head. Magnus cursed, he couldn’t see who the other person was, but it was a male figure. There was no way around that. Magnus swallowed thickly and let out a hitched breath as his breathing had gotten shallow and uneven, his powerful magic slowly fading.

“I can’t hold out much longer,” stammered Magnus and cursed, because he was  _ this _ close to figure out  where Clary was. Well, at least, who she was with. “Jace, help me,” whispered Magnus, who was now shaking and Jace was quickly by his side, offering him his hand, just like Alexander did all those months ago when they were saving Luke and Magnus felt his throat burning when he remembered Alec again. “Thank you,” said Magnus and quickly took a hold of Jace’s wrist and the Shadowhunter let out a gasp when he felt Magnus using up his power to strengthen his magic. Now, that was more like it.

Magnus was finally able to see the face of the man that Clary was so very terrified of, but he had no idea who the hell he was and he narrowed his eyes. Then, he heard Clary saying his name.  _ Jonathan. _ Magnus’ eyes were wide with shock and that was when  _ Jonathan _ grabbed Clary and suddenly she went limp, her head bobbing down and the next time she looked up, her eyes were empty, then they darkened and a wicked smile spread across her face. Then just like that, Magnus was unable to track Clary and he was snapped back to reality, still gripping on Jace’s wrist, while the other was breathing heavily as well. Magnus had used up a lot of his power and he needed some time to catch his breath. While he was there to help out Magnus with tracking Clary, he hadn’t actually seen the things Magnus did, so he was worried when he noticed the expression on Magnus’ face.

“Magnus, what did you see?” asked Jace, worry in his voice. 

“Clary,” stammered Magnus and then sat down, because he was feeling weak. “I… I don’t know exactly she is, but… I know who had taken her and is possessing her,” said Magnus and Jace gave him a horrified look, begging him to continue. “I didn’t recognise the face, but she said his name…”

“Who is it?”

“It’s Jonathan,” stammered Magnus and Jace’s eyes widened. No, that wasn’t possible. He knew that Lilith was trying to bring him back, but he thought, well all of them thought, that Simon had prevented that from happening. Simon was the one who blasted Lilith back to Edom before she was able to bring Jonathan back, right?! Jace’s heart started hammering against his ribcage and he felt sick down to his stomach. This was bad news, so, so bad. If Jonathan had Clary and was possessing her, having her in his control… only God knew what his plans were. It didn’t make much sense, maybe he was just trying to revenge himself for what they did to him. Yes, that had to be it, kidnapping Clary to hurt Jace, to make him suffer for killing him on that bridge.

“So Lilith managed to bring him back to life after all,” whispered Jace and shook his head.

“It would appear so,” said Magnus. “He’s keeping Clary as a prisoner, controlling her. I have seen her and she is completely terrified of him. He has her locked up in this dark room and-” started explaining Magnus, but Jace interrupted him, because he didn’t need to hear more of that. It was bad enough knowing that Clary was with Jonathan. More details just made the whole situation so much worse and Magnus then decided to keep his mouth shut, because he knew exactly how Jace was feeling. The positions they were in were very similar, so he didn’t want to push it too far. 

Jace was chewing on his lower lip, worried out of his mind and he cursed. “Shit,” he stammered and then hid his face into his palms, pulling on his hair and he just wanted to hit someone. That someone being himself. In a way, it was his fault, he allowed Lilith to possess him, if only he was stronger. Or if he would listen to Alec earlier when he wanted to help him. Alec was there for him and he just  _ pushed _ him away when his  _ parabatai _ offered him help. And now… well, he just wanted to scream and yell for being so stupid. If only he showed to Alec that he cared more about him, but no… He just made everything about  _ himself _ like he usually did. Angrily, he kicked the wall in his room and he groaned. 

“Calm down,” said Magnus. “We’ll bring both of them back. Trust me. Now we know that Clary is with Jonathan. Maybe if we focus on tracking down Jonathan instead, we might have more luck,” suggested the warlock and Jace only nodded, but wasn’t really listening as he was too busy with blaming himself. “Jace, you need to listen if-”

“All of this is my fault, isn’t it?” asked Jace and Magnus looked at him, but said nothing. No, he didn’t blame Jace, because it wasn’t his fault. However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t angry with him for holding back the truth from Alexander. Alec knew that Jace and Clary were lying to him, lying to all of them. He was trying to help Jace back then, hoping that it wouldn’t be too late before they would be able to help him. As it turned out, all of his worst fears came true; Alec was too late, Jace was too far gone under Lilith’s control to be able to bring him back. Partially it was Magnus’ fault as well since he gave that elixir to her, but in his defense, he didn’t know it was Lilith back then. 

Also, it killed Magnus listening to Alec blaming himself for what was going on with Jace. He called himself a bad  _ parabatai _ for not being able to help him. Alec was anything but a bad  _ parabatai,  _ he was an amazing one. And a loving brother, Jace just took all of that for granted back then and that angered Magnus. However, he didn’t let that anger get to him at the moment, because it was useless to get angry now since it was too late. However, when Alec was going to be back from Edom, Magnus was going to make sure that Jace would worship the ground he walked on. And same with him; he was prepared to give up his magic for him. He only regretted not doing so at the very beginning. 

“It’s not your fault, Jace,” said Magnus and sighed. “Everything’s just a huge mess now,” he said and then shrugged. “But you’ll see, we’ll get Alexander back. And Clary as well,” he said, trying to give Jace some kind of a pep talk. 

“Thank you,” said Jace and Magnus managed a little smile. However, it faded as soon as it appeared, because he could see Jace grabbing his  _ parabatai _ rune and all of the colour faded from Magnus’ face, because he knew that that didn’t mean anything good.

“Jace, what’s going on?” asked Magnus in panic and hurried over to Jace’s side, holding his shoulder as Jace leaned forward, wrapping his arms around his stomach and he couldn’t breathe. Again, his  _ parabatai _ was in pain, but it was a different kind of pain. This time, he couldn’t feel Alec’s physical pain, no… but he could feel his emotional distress. He was sobbing, his heart was splitting in half, he couldn’t breathe, he was crying. Jace’s eyes widened, because he didn’t know what the hell was going on, but then he felt as if someone had stabbed him in where the  _ parabatai _ rune was and he braced himself.

Magnus’ eyes welled up when he watched Jace experiencing Alec’s pain. It was horrible to see it; if it hurt Jace so much, he could only imagine how horrible the pain must had been for his boyfriend and he swallowed back his tears. And it only got worse from that point on as Jace fell onto his knees, leaned forward and started banging with his fists against the floor and he was yelling out Alec’s name. Magnus crouched next to Alec’s  _ parabatai  _ and helped him up, holding his arms around Jace as the blond was screaming out in pain and Magnus was trying his best not to give into his despair, but tears fell in the end, because his heart was crying for Alexander. They needed to find Clary, fast!

* * *

“Isabelle, we need to talk,” said Jordan, who had come all the way to the Institute, because he needed to talk to Isabelle. It was about Simon, he was getting worried. He hadn’t heard from him since the day that the thing with his family happened. And he was getting worried, because he was getting anxious. Simon was still his responsibility and he wanted to make sure that he was okay. Not only that, but he considered Simon as a friend, against all odds. He knew that Simon had probably hated him, but Jordan at least wanted to make sure that he was okay. Then he could finally get some peace of his mind.

Isabelle, who was researching different possible ways of getting into Edom, lifted her gaze up and frowned when she saw the werewolf. She massaged her aching neck and then let out a defeated groan, because she wasn’t able to find anything and she was doing this for almost four days now and no success. Maybe taking a break would do her some good, so she decided to give her attention to Jordan. 

“Sure, sit down,” said Isabelle and noticed the anxious expression on Jordan’s face and he took in a deep breath, Izzy giving him a little smile as he sad down. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked and looked at him.

“Simon,” said Jordan and Isabelle tensed up when Jordan brought Simon up. The vampire had told her some things about Jordan’s and Maia’s past and Isabelle knew what he had done to Maia, so she was vary of the werewolf, but said nothing. Also, she worried about Simon as well, so thinking that Jordan had more information about him, she looked at him, prepared for bad news. “I haven’t seen him at all… since the incident with his family,” said Jordan and Isabelle’s stomach dropped. “Have you heard from him?”

“Wait, what do you mean?” asked Isabelle and narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t he at the apartment you two share?” asked the young woman and then pressed her lips together when Jordan bowed his head down.

“I don’t know,” stammered Jordan and then made a pause. “He told me to stay away from him, so I decided to listen to him. That was at least I could do after all I’ve put him through,” said the werewolf and made a short pause. “But still, I’m worried… he might not consider me as a friend, but I really do care about him and I’m worried about him. This is why I decided to ask you, because I know that the two of you are pretty close. With Maia still out of the town...”

“What?!” snapped Isabelle. “You mean he’s all alone...” she started, her tone of voice sounding accusing and she then made a pause, taking in a breath and she rubbed her forehead. “I have heard from him a few times,” said Isabelle. “He said he needed some time alone, so I… I decided to give him some space. With the thing that had happened to his family, then Clary dying and-”

“Clary’s dead?”

“Yes,” hissed Isabelle and glared at Jordan. “You mean you just left him  _ alone _ ? You were supposed to watch  _ him _ not leave him-” said Isabelle angrily. Well, angry wasn’t really the word how she truly felt towards the werewolf. In her humble opinion it was really shitty from him to just back away, even though it was Simon himself that requested that.

“I’m sorry, okay?!” snapped Jordan back and Isabelle just kept silent as her worry grew. 

Isabelle didn’t say anything and she just rolled her eyes. “I’ll call him,” said Isabelle and dialed Simon’s number and waited for the vampire to pick up the hone call. Isabelle’s phone continued to ring, but Simon didn’t pick up. The Shadowhunter gritted her teeth and decided to try again, Simon was probably there next to his phone. He always had it with him. But when she tried to reach Simon for the second time it went straight to the voice mail and her face went pale.

“It went straight to voice mail the second time, it rang the first time I called,” she said to herself and then looked at Jordan. “He turned off his phone, which doesn’t mean anything good,” she said and then stood up.

“Shit,” stammered Jordan and ran fingers through his long hair. “We need to go check up on him, to see if he’s feeding properly. It was usually Maia who brought blood to him and with what he did to his sister...” went on by saying Jordan and then shook his head. “We need to go to him. Now,” said Jordan and Isabelle agreed with him. 

The two of them left the Institute and headed straight to Jordan’s apartment, hoping that Simon was going to be there. They barged into the apartment, which seemed empty at first, but Jordan still had some hope. Maybe he was locked in his room. “Let’s check his room,” said Jordan after he and Isabelle had searched every other part of the apartment and Isabelle, deciding to be the one to go check up on Simon. It was probably for the best, he wasn’t too fond of Jordan.

Isabelle knocked on the door of his room and took in a deep breath. “Simon, it’s Izzy, please open the door for me,” said Isabelle gently and made a short pause. Nothing, no reply. Complete and utter silence. She looked at Jordan, who signed her to try again, so that was she did, knocking again. “Simon, please open the door. We need to talk,come one, I’m worried about you,” she said and cursed. “What if he isn’t inside?” asked Izzy, now speaking to Jordan, who pulled out a spare key of Simon’s room, so they unlocked the door, only to find Simon’s bedroom empty and in complete chaos. 

“Great,” said Jordan and shook his head.

Isabelle sat on top of Simon’s bed and sighed, trying to think of where might Simon wandered off to. But at the end, she couldn’t think of anything and she groaned out of frustration. Suddenly, her phone started ringing and her eyes widened when she saw Simon’s name written on her screen and she looked up at Jordan. “It’s Simon”, she said and his eyes widened, wondering why was she taking her time with picking the phone call.

“Pick up, pick up.”

And that was what she did. “Simon, hi-”

“ _ Izzy? _ ” asked Simon and Isabelle’s heart fastened when she heard his voice. It sounded like he was out of breath and he was panicking. “ _ Izzy, I did something bad… Oh God, what did I do?! Please, you have to help me… I… please wake up, come on. I didn’t mean to… Izzy... _ ”

Isabelle stood and tried her best to make out what Simon was saying. Apparently something really bad and knowing that Simon might not have eaten in  _ days _ worried Isabelle as she feared of the worst. “Simon, calm down and explain me what did you do?”

“ _ I attacked a Mundane… I didn’t mean to… Oh no, no, no… open your eyes... _ ”

“What’s going on?” asked Jordan, but Isabelle shushed him.

“It’s okay, Simon, listen to me. Everything will be okay, understand? Just tell me where-”

“ _ I’m a monster, like my mom said, _ ” said Simon and Isabelle could hear him sobbing.

“No, no you aren’t. You’ve been through a lot. Simon, you have to calm down and focus okay?” she asked, but Simon was silent. Okay, maybe he was listening. “Where are you?”

“ _ Central Park... _ ” he managed to say and then it sounded like Simon dropped his phone, but the call wasn’t ended yet, so Isabelle could hear him sobbing and begging the person to wake up. She had heard enough, so she ended the phone call and looked at Jordan.

“I know where he is,” said Isabelle. “Central Park. Let’s go, he needs us.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jordan and Isabelle had been running all the way down to the Central Park, wanting to get there as soon as possible. Isabelle’s heart was hammering against her ribcage and not just because she had been running. No, it was out of fear of what Simon might had done. She was afraid that Simon might had killed a Mundane. It wouldn’t be on purpose, of course not. Simon would never hurt a fly. But with everything he had been through; the loss of his family and friend, _thinking_ that he was the one who had killed her. Considering what he did to his sister, he might had been refusing to eat, or maybe the grief didn’t let him think of that. Isabelle knew how grief worked.

So, if Simon would end up killing an innocent Mundane, Izzy didn’t know what would happen to Simon. He was already a ruin, crumbled apart, so with another thing to blame himself for… Isabelle shook her head and swallowed back a gasp. No, everything was going to be okay. Even if Simon did attack a Mundane, they would survive, Isabelle was going to make sure of that. Isabelle then started running faster, trying to keep up with Jordan, who was due to his werewolf side much faster than her, but he didn’t dare to go ahead of Isabelle.

Jordan didn’t dare to face Simon on his own, after all had happened. Simon _asked_ him to stay away, so that was what he was doing. It was at least _that_ that he could do for his friend. And, yes, he was beyond worried for Simon’s well-being. If he ended up killing that Mundane, then… God. Simon was going to need all the help he could get to pick himself from this. Now was when he needed Maia, who was still nowhere to be seen. Not that anyone blamed her for leaving, it was understandable. She needed time to process everything. But still, Jordan knew that only just a _word_ would help Simon.

Soon, the two of them had made it to the Central Park and started looking around it, searching for Simon. They didn’t really need a lot of time to find Simon, who was seen kneeling on the floor not too far from them and was shaking a body that was lying on the floor completely lifeless. Isabelle looked at Jordan, who gave her a little nod, giving her a sign to be the one to check up on Simon. While she was going to be dealing with Simon, Jordan was going to check up on the Mundan

“Simon,” said Isabelle slowly, but Simon didn’t really listen. He was in too much distress to pay attention what was going on around him. All that he could focus was on the lifeless man laying in front of him and he gritted his teeth, shaking his body again, trying to get him to wake up. Come on, he couldn’t be dead! “Simon,” tried Isabelle again and made a short pause. “Please, listen to me. I’m here to help you,” she said and then made her way closer to him, Simon swallowing back the tears and he slowly looked up, Isabelle letting out a small gasp.

Simon’s lips, chin, neck and clothes were all bloody and she swallowed thickly. Oh, God, how much did he drink from the Mundane?! Simon didn’t know that either, he had completely lost it. He had gone three days without eating, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. On one hand, it was because he was dealing with the fact that he had killed Clary and the other was that he had drank from Rebecca. And he couldn’t bring himself to eat… he just had no will to do it. So he was endlessly wandering around the streets of New York, starving.

That evening he felt hungrier than ever, but he refused to eat, because he didn’t want _this_ anymore. He didn’t want to be a vampire anymore. He was a monster and he wasn’t even a normal _vampire._ A freak of nature, a _Daylighter._ So he didn’t even fit in with the vampires. Kind of funny, if one thought about it. Funny, but so sad and it hurt Simon. He wandered off to the Central Park, wanting to meet up with the Seelie Queen, even though she had closed him away from the gates of her realm. It didn’t matter, it couldn’t hurt to try. He just wanted the freaking mark gone. So, as he was leaning over the bridge, a young man came over to his side, trying to help him, but Simon ended up shoving him away. As the Mundane fell, he got hurt, started bleeding and that was when Simon lost control, feeding on the innocent Mundane, that was just trying to help him out.

“Izzy,” said Simon, finally and Isabelle pressed her lips together, going down on her knees immediately and she gently touched Simon’s shoulder. “I-I killed a person,” he managed to get out as he was sobbing so much, shaking his head. “I’m a bad person, a monster, I just… look what I did. I managed to tear another family apart. He’s someone’s son, a brother… I-”

“Simon, shh, hey, listen to me. I’m here, I’m here,” said Isabelle and gently gripped onto the vampire’s shoulder and then looked over to Jordan, who was standing back .Simon noticed him, but said nothing. He didn’t care. “Can… can I check up on the Mundane? I’m sure he’s fine,” said Isabelle and Simon nodded, hoping that Isabelle would be able to find a heartbeat, because he couldn’t.

Simon was begging, praying that Isabelle would be able to find a pulse. The Shadowhunter acted quickly, she went over to the Mundane and gently pressed her fingers against his mutilated neck. Shit, he was still bleeding. Jordan slowly came closer, but didn’t get too close to Simon and he waited for Isabelle to get back to him. Isabelle waited for a bit and then her eyes widened. The pulse was there! Very weak and faint, but it was still there!

“He’s alive,” whispered Isabelle.

“Thank God,” stammered Simon.

“Jordan, take him to the hospital,” said Isabelle and Jordan wasted no time. “I’ll take care of Simon and you do that for the Mundane. Get back to me, tell me how he’s doing. Okay?” asked Isabelle and Jordan nodded, promising to let Simon and Izzy how the Mundane’s condition was going to be

“Simon,” said Isabelle and narrowed her eyes when Simon started walking away from her. “Simon!” she yelled out and hurried after him, grabbing his wrist before Simon could go into his vamp speed. Then good luck to her with catching up to him. “Where are you going?” she asked and shook her head.

“Just let me be, Izzy,” stammered Simon.

“Do you really believe I’d let you wander off all on your own after _this?_ ” asked Isabelle in disbelief and Simon only shrugged as tears were still rolling down his face and Isabelle sighed, her own heart breaking for her friend and she stepped closer, but didn’t let go of his hand. She slid her hand from her wrist and took his hand into her own and squeezed it. “I’m your _friend_ , yes? I will not leave your side,” said Isabelle softly, sighing. “You know I’m here for you, always, yes?” asked Isabelle and Simon looked down, his shoulders shaking and he started sobbing again.

“I just… feel so lost,” said Simon and looked up at Isabelle, who was biting on her lip and she nodded. “I… don’t know… Clary’s dead because of me,” he said, Isabelle wanting to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but Simon interrupted her. “My mom thinks I’m dead and Maia’s not picking up. I tried calling her, I need her. I need someone, I just feel so alone. I’ve never felt so alone on the world before. And what I did to the Mundane… I just-”

“The Mundane will be fine,” said Isabelle slowly and then lifted Simon’s face up, wiping away his tears. “Oh, Simon, you aren’t alone,” said Isabelle and shook her head. “I know you’re going through a lot and I’m here, so you are _not_ alone,” she said and Simon slowly nodded, because he knew that. He just didn’t want to be a burden for her. “So, lean on me for help, huh?” she asked softly, her eyes now welling up as well when Simon broke down again and Isabelle wrapped her arms around Simon.

Simon let out a loud sob and then wrapped his own arms around her, pulling her close as he tucked his face into the crook of Isabelle’s neck and Isabelle felt Simon’s tears wetting her neck. “It’s okay, let it all out, I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere,” said Isabelle and ruffled Simon’s hair and she swallowed back her tears. Simon clutched onto her more and finally let out all of the emotions he had been holding in for the past three days.

They stood there in the park for much longer, Isabelle allowing Simon the time to calm down.

* * *

“Kill me, just kill me… I’m begging you,” sobbed Alec, because he had it enough. Asmodeus had stopped the physical aspect of torture, because he could see that it wasn’t doing much in breaking Alec down. However, the _emotional_ pain the hunter was experiencing now was getting to him and Asmodeus started laughing, his deep and cold laughter sending chills down Alec’s spine and he swallowed thickly, wanting this to be over.

He didn’t know how long he had been down in Edom for. It could be a few days, or a few weeks, months… Asmodeus was able to manipulate how quickly the time passed down there, so Alec gave up on counting the days. It was useless, completely utterly useless to continue fighting. He had seen his friends, family die countless numbers of times by now and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Technically, he knew that it wasn’t real, that it was all just a trick, but it still got to him. And the way Asmodeus would make them die was just getting more gruesome and horrible. Especially when it came to hallucinations of Magnus. God, he either made Magnus cruel to him or he killed him in the most horrible ways possible and Alec couldn’t stand watching the man he loved dying over and over again. Every time it happened, a piece of him died and he was sure that by now, his heart was completely stomped all over, crushed into pieces.

“Why would I do that?” asked Asmodeus and then slowly made his way to Alec. “You’re far too much fun to play with. Besides,” said the demon with a wicked grin. “I promised my son not to hurt you,” he then added. “So there’s that,” he said and Alec scoffed. Not to hurt him?! That was _all_ that he was doing, torturing him, make him miserable and he then looked down. Well, this was Asmodeus’ realm, so his rules applied. The Shadowhunter swallowed thickly and he slowly lifted his gaze up.

“And yet, after all the pain you’ve caused me,” said Alec and glared at the demon. “You still haven’t managed to break me,” he then added and Asmodeus let out a little hum of amusement. The Shadowhunter still dared to talk back to him after all of that?! Well, well, well… he was brave, he was going to give him that. “So, bring it on, demon… I can endure whatever you bring upon me,” challenged him Alec, knowing that it probably wasn’t wise to talk down to the Greater demon like that, but he didn’t care and couldn’t stop the words from making their way out. “I have faith in my friends, family and Magnus… they’ll come to save me,” he said and Asmodeus started laughing.

“Oh, yeah?” asked Asmodeus and started looking around. “Where are they? You’ve been here for days and they still haven’t come to save you,” said the demon and Alec felt his throat tighten up, because the man had a point. They weren’t there, they weren’t showing up. Alec didn’t know what the reason was, but he had faith in them. He knew they were on their way, trying to come up with a solution to save him. Of course they were, especially Magnus, he was probably just making sure that he had everything prepared to bring him back. “If you ask me,” said the demon and Alec looked his way. “You’ve all forgotten about you,” he said and grinned, Alec’s stomach twisting.

“See, this is where you’re wrong,” said Alec and shook his head. “You can continue with these little mind trick of yours, but you’ll never be able to make me believe that my family has given up on me,” said Alec and then looked at the demon. “Especially Jace and Magnus, they’re fighting to get me back. Something is just in their way, I am sure of it,” said Alec and Asmodeus narrowed his eyes. Ugh, the Shadowhunter still had faith and hope. He’d need to get rid of that, make Alec believe that no one was missing him up there. That all of them had moved on and weren’t looking a way to get down to Edom at all. That was probably the only thing that was keeping Alec collected and sane, to keep on going despite everything.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you,” said Asmodeus and slowly started walking around the room and Alec narrowed his eyes. What was the demon talking about? Did he know something he didn’t? Probably not, it was just his mind tricks again. And yet, Alec couldn’t help but to wonder. He then shook his head and swallowed thickly, eyes narrowing and he pressed his lips together.

“Screw you,” said Alec and Asmodeus only laughed again.

“Why don’t you think about it?” asked Asmodeus and then started walking again, Alec carefully watching his every move. “My son could easily come back to Edom to get you,” lied Asmodeus. He knew Magnus was trying, he could feel him try penetrate the wards he had put up, but it was strong and resilient. Magnus and the others weren’t getting through and he chuckled. “He’s just a portal away,” said Asmodeus and Alec felt his stomach dropping, because Asmodeus was right, but Alec knew that there was something else. Something had to be keeping Magnus away from portalling himself off to Edom. “And yet, he isn’t here. That should tell you something.”

“Something is keeping him-”

“Magnus gave up on you,” said Asmodeus firmly and Alec felt a stab at his heart, but he then shook his head, despite the forming lump in his throat. He knew Magnus would never gave up on him, he _loved_ him. Alec never doubted Magnus’ love for him and he wasn’t going to allow this _demon_ to convince him otherwise. But still, Asmodeus wasn’t wrong… Magnus was just a portal away and he wasn’t there. Alec felt his throat burning and he wanted to scream, angry that Asmodeus was able to plant that seed of _doubt_ somewhere deep within him. Alec knew that Asmodeus was wrong, but the seed already started growing, its roots going deeper and deeper, twisting themselves around Alec’s heart and he forced himself to breathe.

“Magnus would never give up on me,” said Alec firmly, but Asmodeus could see that unlike before, there was some doubt in Alec’s voice and he grinned. Yes, this was going perfectly according to his plan. He’d just need a few more days, to push harder. To make Alec believe that people he loved gave up on him and were happier without him around. It was going to be hard to make Alec see and believe that, but Asmodeus had a few tricks up his sleeve how to make the hunter think that. The grin on the demon’s lips drove Alec crazy, it made him think that he knew something, but then he forced himself not to think about that.

“But he already has,” said Asmodeus, pushing it a bit further. “Did you really think my son would get serious about a _mortal_?” asked Asmodeus, knowing that was one of Alec’s insecurities about his relationship with Magnus and Alec cursed. “As a mortal, you can only offer him that much. But after you’ll _die_ , he’ll move on,” said Asmodeus and Alec gritted his teeth. He and Magnus still didn’t have a proper talk about the immortality issue, but Alec was sure they would be able to figure out something. Anything. “You’re just a way for him to fill in his free time, before he moves to another-”

“Shut up,” cut him off Alec, because he didn’t want to listen to _this._ “Magnus and Catarina are working on a way to get me back right as we speak!” shot back Alec and Asmodeus grinned when he finally received a piece of information about his son’s life. He had no idea who Catarina was, but knowing that Magnus was working with her told him enough that she was a friend of his. Magnus didn’t just work together with someone he didn’t like and Alec narrowed his eyes when he saw the satisfied look on Asmodeus’ face, not knowing that Cat’s name had slipped from his lips.

“Catarina?” asked Asmodeus and Alec’s eyes widened when he realised his mistake and he quickly closed his mouth. “A friend of Magnus’?” asked Asmodeus and then chuckled when he saw how horrified Alec looked with himself for the slip up and he refused to speak more. “Well, you can keep that mouth of yours shut, just a name is more than enough for me,” he then added and Alec felt shivers running up his spine.

_Oh, no, what did he do?!_

And what the hell was Asmodeus planning to do with that piece of information?! Alec knew that Asmodeus’ plan was to get Magnus back to Edom, but there was no way in the world Magnus would go back to Edom on his own. So, then, what? Hurt Magnus’ friends?! Alec felt sick down to his stomach, because Catarina wasn’t the only one who Asmodeus could hurt, so do something even worse to them. There was little Madzie that was living with Catarina and if Asmodeus got his paws on her then… By the Angel.  Alec didn’t even want t think about that and he swallowed thickly.

“Now, Shadowhunter,” said Asmodeus and Alec was snapped back to reality, looking up, looking terrified. “I’m bored, let’s play for a bit more, huh?” asked Asmodeus and Alec’s eyes filled with horror.

 _Play?!_ This was all a game to Asmodeus, Alec knew that. The man was so sadistic and evil, he was just his toy, to pass his free time and Alec quickly closed his eyes, shaking his head, because he wasn’t going to allow Asmodeus to break him again. Alec’s heart fell to the pit of hit stomach, because when he opened his eyes, darkness was surrounding him and he had to cover his eyes when he heard the voices of his friends, screaming for help. Begging him to save them, their screams getting louder despite him covering his ears and he screamed as well.

_No, no this again, please no… this needed to stop._

“Magnus!” yelled out Alec out of desperation and he squeezed himself against the wall. “Save me, please help me!” he kept on chanting over and over again, trying to ignore the screams and cries inside of his head.

It was all fake, it wasn’t real.

But, God, it felt so fucking real and it needed to stop. But it didn’t.

Magnus didn’t come for help.

Jace didn’t come for help.

No one was there for him, he was all alone. Just like Asmodeus said.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a big thank you to Slyfighter2011 who helped me with this when I got stuck :) <3

Alec was paranoid, he didn’t know what to believe anymore. Since the day Asmodeus had told him that Magnus had moved on, Alec hadn’t been the same. Technically, Alec knew that Magnus would never give up on him, but it was the _way_ Asmodeus said it. It was just so manipulative and it made Alec believe that the demon knew more than he thought. Which technically wasn’t possible, Asmodeus couldn’t go to their realm since he was banished to the depths of Edom. He couldn’t even spy on Magnus from there, but still… Alec couldn’t think rationally at this point and he was biting his lips the more that he continued to think about it. There was still that, _what if…_

What if Asmodeus was right and Magnus had moved on? What if his family had stopped trying to get down to him? Asmodeus had a point, Magnus was just a portal away. However, maybe something was preventing Magnus to come down to Edom. Alec was sure of that. The last time, Alec couldn’t pass the portal together with Magnus, so what if the warlock was now dealing with the same problem? No, the warlock would never, ever move on so quickly. In their realm it had only been a few days, five tops as Alec was trying to count the time in his realm. He had been locked away in Edom for five weeks, so since a week was equal to a day up in New York.

Probably. Alec didn’t really know, Asmodeus was capable of manipulating the time down there, so who knew. Maybe more time passed than five days and Magnus still wasn’t there down with him. He still didn’t find a way down to Edom? Or did he give up?! Alec swallowed thickly as he lifted his shirt up and looked over to his _parabatai_ rune. Sometimes… it was like he could feel Magnus’ magic through his _parabatai_ rune. It was probably his wishful thinking, to feel Magnus next to him, but little did Alec know that he really felt Magnus’ magic through his bond with Jace. Magnus was trying to ease Alec’s pain through their connection, not that it really helped though.

Alec stopped thinking when the door of the room flung open and he straightened himself up, narrowing his eyes when he saw that Asmodeus was smiling. He looked in far too good mood for Alec’s liking and he tried not to worry too much. But usually the smile meant nothing good and he swallowed thickly as he tried to remember Magnus’ face, his beautiful cat-eyes filled with love and affection towards, how amazing Magnus’ hugs felt, how much love he’d pour into every kiss they shared. That made Alec feel at ease, but all of that was gone in a blink of eye, when Asmodeus stopped in front of him and Alec slowly looked up.

“What, are you bored again?” asked Alec, feeling brave, the recent memories about Magnus making him feel brave, which made Asmodeus’ smile fade and his expression darkened, Alec grinning. He didn’t really know where all of this bravery was coming from, but he knew that there were going to be consequences and he knew that he should be wiser, but he wasn’t. “What kind of a torture you have planned for me today?” asked Alec, far too bold for the demon’s liking, but he knew that it was all just an act and he noticed a flinch when he stepped closer to the Shadowhunter.

“Mock me all you want, Shadowhunter,” said Asmodeus and then made a short pause. “I’m here to bring you some news,” he then added and Alec straightened himself up and crossed his arms on top of his shoulders. News, what kind of news? More lies? “About my son and your friends,” said Asmodeus and Alec visibly tensed up, which made Asmodeus’ smile re-appear and he went back to enjoying himself.

“What-what kinds of news?” asked Alec slowly and he hoped that it wasn’t something too horrible. All of colour left Alec’s face when a horrible thought crossed his mind; what if Asmodeus’ hallucinations came true? What if they came to Edom to his help, but Asmodeus ended up trapping them as well? Or worse, what if Asmodeus _killed_ them?! Alec quickly shook his head and glared at the demon. “You monster! What did you do to them?” demanded to know the Shadowhunter and Asmodeus placed a hand over his chest, pretending to be offended.

“Just because I’m a demon that doesn’t mean I’d hurt them,” said Asmodeus, playing games with Alec again and the Shadowhunter wasn’t having any of it. “I would never lay a hand on my own son, I care for Magnus,” said Asmodeus and Alec _almost_ scoffed, but then forced himself to stay quiet. “But it would appear that my predictions were true, my son did indeed move on,” said Asmodeus, lying and Alec’s eyes widened. There was that again, Asmodeus sounding so sure of that. What did he know?!

“What do you mean?” asked Alec painfully slowly and the way he asked, the fear in his voice, made Asmodeus grin.

“I’ve seen it with my own two eyes,” said Asmodeus and Alec pressed his lips together. Seen it with his own eyes? What that did mean? Asmodeus couldn’t go up in their realm, so there was no way. Logically speaking, it made no sense, but Alec didn’t know what to think. It was probably Asmodeus’ mind tricks, wasn’t it?

“You’re lying, I won’t fall for your mind tricks again,” shot back Alec, trying to sound brave, but was failing horribly that time.

“Why don’t I just show you, huh?” asked Asmodeus, who was attempting to make a little fake illusion for Alec, but he _knew_ the other was going to fall for it. It was going to look so believable and he couldn’t wait to mess with the Shadowhunter for some more. Alec said nothing, but heart was beating like crazy and he was nervously biting on his lower lip since he didn’t know where Asmodeus was going with that.

Alec’s silence spoke volumes, he wanted to know what he meant with that and Asmodeus chuckled. God, mortals were so easy to fool. “Let me show you just how much my son is worried about you,” said Asmodeus, his cat-eyes on display and then he snapped with his fingers, Alec tensing when he saw red magic flying underneath Asmodeus’ fingers and the demon created something that looked like a portal against the wall and Alec’s eyes widened when he suddenly saw Magnus sitting in his loft through the portal, heart leaping up to his throat and he then looked at Asmodeus.

“T-this...”

“Yes, this is Magnus, right now,” lied Asmodeus. “While it’s true I sadly cannot wander freely around your realm, I can still spy on you,” said Asmodeus and Alec felt his throat tightening. No, that wasn’t possible. There wasn’t a way that Asmodeus was…

Alec’s attention was cut off when Magnus suddenly started _laughing_ and he quickly looked up through the portal and he pressed his lips together. It didn’t look like he was worried at all. No. He was sipping on a dry martini and Alec was horrified when he heard a music in the background. He looked at Asmodeus and then back at Magnus, feeling his heart breaking. Asmodeus had to be laughing, _his_ Magnus would never be in a mood for laughing with him trapped in hell. Alec’s stomach twisted and he let out a gasp when he saw Jace joining Magnus on the couch. His _parabatai_ also looked like he was having fun. Like he was so much better off without him.

“ _Ah, peace and quiet,_ ” said Jace and Magnus hummed in agreement.

“ _I know what you mean. With Alexander constantly around it was just always nagging and nagging and complaining,_ ” heard Alec say Magnus and he was devastated when those words left Magnus’ lips. No, this wasn’t real. Nope, no! It couldn’t be. Still, it hurt like hell.

“ _He constantly complained and bossed me around,_ ” said Jace and Alec felt his eyes welling up. “ _But now I feel free, to do whatever I want to. We’re better off without him, man, I’m telling you. I and Clary can finally enjoy ourselves without him constantly breathing down our necks,_ ” said Jace, his voice mocking and Magnus laughed.

“ _And I don’t have to listen about his whining about us being too different. Like for real, he’s hot, but other than that… Not worth risking my time and life to go back to Edom,_ ” said Magnus and Alec felt his throat tightening up again when he heard that. He wasn’t worth trying to go back to Edom, of course he wasn’t. Magnus could honestly do so much better than him and Alec felt his eyes burning as angry tears started gathering in his eyes. He wasn’t angry at Magnus, he was angry with himself for not being a better boyfriend to him. He knew he had his flaws and it was no wonder that Magnus was now feeling free without him. Maybe he was smothering him before, who knew. Magnus was just too kind to say something that-

“ _George never complained,_ ” said Magnus and Alec’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach yet again when Magnus brought up his previous relationship with George. It was something that Alec was still self-conscious about and he wondered if Magnus ever compared him to the past love of his life. He thought Magnus wouldn’t, but apparently he was wrong. “ _I do miss George, he was a soldier and kind of looked like Alec… that’s one of the main reasons I took an interest in him. George was the love of my life and Alec could never measure up to him. George was brave and a man of honour, while Alexander is none of those things,_ ” said Magnus and Alec shook his head when Jace started laughing.

No, no, this was probably only Asmodeus’ mind tricks again, _his_ Magnus wasn’t this cruel. He’d never say something like that. Then again, he didn’t know George so maybe that was how Magnus truly felt. Magnus got really defensive about _the box_ and it made Alec wonder; what if he didn’t measure up to any of the people that Magnus had momentous of? Alec pressed his lips together and felt his heart hammering against his ribcage, it wanted to jump out of his chest and he was chewing on his lower lip. He couldn’t handle to listen to this anymore.

Asmodeus grinned when his little illusions had such a big impact on Alec and he waved with his hand for a little bit and a new illusion appeared on the wall, this time showing the face of Alec’s sister and his mother. The demon didn’t really bother with details, he just made them laughing and having a good time and that was enough to show Alec that none of them cared that he was really gone. His mother and sister were soon accompanied by Jace, who apparently made his way back to the Institute to be with his family. Alec couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it didn’t really matter as he was already completely crushed.

His hopes that his family was working hard on bringing him back from Edom were crushed in a blink of an eye and that devastated Alec, left him completely broken. It was a huge blow into the hope that kept him going against all odds. No matter how much pain Asmodeus put him through, Alec was always calmed down by the fact that his family and Magnus were working hard on bringing him back. But to see them laughing, hanging out at the Institute like nothing had happened showed the Shadowhunter a completely different story and he swallowed thickly when he thoughts wandered off to Magnus and the things he had told Jace before. Was that also real? Was it just Asmodeus’ mind tricks again? Because to him it made absolutely no sense why Magnus would be telling Jace such personal things. Then again, maybe all of them were celebrating that he was gone and-

The scenery on the wall changed and Alec’s face went pale when Asmodeus put on a projection of Magnus’ loft again. Asmodeus didn’t really know how Magnus’ place looked like, so if Alec really took a closer look at the illusion, he could easily see that it was all just a little game Asmodeus was playing with him. But at the state that Alec’s mind was at, he couldn’t worry about such little details. He could only focus on Magnus’ face, feeling his throat burning when the man smiled again and was talking with someone. Wow, Magnus already had a new guest at the loft! When it was just them, no one came to visit Magnus. Well, rarely. Was that because of him? Did Magnus tell others to stay away because he was embarrassed of him?

Alec hated it, hated _this_ doubt Asmodeus had planted deep within him and now he couldn’t stop his paranoid thoughts from making him feel even more horrible. What could he really do?! Alec forced himself to watch the scene unfold in front of his eyes. Yes, Magnus wasn’t alone, there was another person there with him. A vampire that Alec easily recognised. He had seen many pictures of him in the old photo albums that Magnus owned. He didn’t know the vampire’s name, but he knew that he and Magnus used to be an item back in the days and Alec wanted to scream when he saw the way Magnus was looking at the vampire. He had _that_ look in his eyes, full of affection and love, the look that was usually meant for _Alec!_

Music was still playing in the background and Asmodeus decided to push it a bit further, snapping with his fingers and Alec’s eyes widened when the vampire and Magnus started slow dancing in the living room and his eyes darkened. He had to look away, but he couldn’t. He wanted to move his head, but there was this force holding his eyes fixed on the illusion, Asmodeus making Alec watch it, forcing him to stay focused with his magic and Alec wanted to scream when the vampire whispered something into Magnus’ ear and the warlock started chuckling. “ _Oh, Igor,_ ” he said with a seductive voice and Alec forced himself to close his eyes, because this was just too much and Asmodeus finally stopped with the illusions when he saw that he had done enough damage, grinning when he saw Alec burying his face into his palms and he let out a loud sob.

“What did I tell you?” asked Asmodeus and crossed his arms on top of his chest and Alec cursed. “Your family isn’t looking for you,” said the demon and Alec placed his hands on top of his ears, because he didn’t want to listen to Asmodeus pointing out the obvious. “My son has moved on as well,” he then added and it felt like being stabbed repeatedly, Alec letting the tears fall and he placed a hand on top of his mouth, trying to calm himself down, to convince himself that Asmodeus was just playing with him, but he couldn’t. It was too late, the seed of doubt Asmodeus planted the last time had already rooted inside of his heart so much and he couldn’t fight it.

Asmodeus was right, nothing was stopping them from portalling down to Edom. Magnus was just a portal away, but he wasn’t coming. And neither were Jace and Isabelle. Nor his mother. No one, he was all alone there and forgotten. The demon was grinning, feeling proud and maybe, just maybe Alec would start talking. Maybe he felt betrayed by his family and his son enough to turn on them. Asmodeus hoped that he would be able to turn Alec against them, to make him _his_ soldier, send Alec back up to their realm and make Magnus’ life a living hell so that in the end, Magnus would have nothing left up there. Just like the time he was a child, he had no one, that was why he joined him down in Edom. Alec was a perfect pawn in this game and after he’d be done, he would toss Alec aside and rule Edom with Magnus.

Magnus belonged in Edom with him, it was because of Asmodeus that Magnus was such a powerful warlock. He thought him magic, trained him and that was why he belonged down there. Magnus was _his_ son. Asmodeus then looked over at Alec, who was now just quietly sobbing and shaking his head. “It-it can’t be true,” stammered Alec and clutched onto his shirt. “My-my family cares for me. Magnus loves me, it must be your games again… they couldn’t have moved on so…” stammered Alec, but then his voice trailed off when he remembered Magnus comparing him to George, that he was with him only because he looked like George.

_He was just a replacement._

Alec felt a lump forming in his throat as he remembered seeing Magnus in arms of another man and he pressed his lips together and banged with his fists against the wall, Asmodeus enjoying to watch Alec slowly transform into ruins. It was _beautiful._

“I love Magnus, he-”

“My son isn’t serious about a mortal,” said Asmodeus and Alec flinched. _Mortal,_ yes he was just a mortal unlike Magnus, who was immortal. Asmodeus just kept on pushing, pressing the right buttons for Alec to stop thinking rationally and he started giving into his worst fears. They completely consumed him, made it hard for him to breathe and he looked up at Asmodeus, eyes begging. The demon narrowed his eyes. “Magnus doesn’t care for you, you were just a replacement,” said Asmodeus and Alec struggled to keep his posture.

Alec wanted to yell and scream, Magnus told him he loved him. So many times. And Alec bought it, lapped all of it up because he was that desperate for someone to love him. And now what, was it all just a lie? Alec gritted his teeth, feeling disgusted that he was doubting Magnus’ love for him. But, the things he had seen and heard…

“Stop this,” snapped Alec, because he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. A part of him was screaming and yelling at him for believing the demon’s words, but the other one couldn’t take it anymore. He knew his family would never give up on him, but he was just so exhausted of this constant torture. First it was physical, but when it got emotional, he couldn’t stand it and he just wanted Asmodeus to stop. He was prepared to do whatever to just… make this stop. “I-I’ll do what you want, just stop… bringing up my family and Magnus,” he said. What did he have to lose? His family wasn’t looking for a way to get down to Edom and Magnus said that he wasn’t worth risking his time to go back to Edom. Plus he had already moved on.

A victorious grin spread across the demon’s face when he finally had Alec saying what he had been wanting him to say for weeks now. Yes, he had finally broken Alec Lightwood and he rubbed his palms together as he walked closer to Alec. He grabbed his chin and make him look up at him, Alec obedient, because he just… didn’t care anymore. It was like nothing was worth fighting for and he just kept staring blankly at Asmodeus. “Good boy, I finally made you see the light,” said Asmodeus and Alec’s eyes welled up. “Now the real fun begins,” he said and his cat-eyes were on display again and Alec only bowed his head down, admitting his defeat.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I added a heavy angst tag as it's getting darker. I plan on making a somewhat of a happy end for this, but things will get worse before they get better. And not only for Alec but for everyone else too  
>  So just heads up, it might not be everyone's cup of tea.

Five days. Five day since Alec had been stuck down in Edom and Maryse was slowly losing it, sick with worry because she knew that Alec was suffering. Jace _told_ her that her son was in a great pain and Maryse just felt so helpless. With Magnus not being able to create portals down to Edom and with her not being able to find any solutions even with Robert’s help, she felt completely powerless. Yes, even though she and Robert had split up, they two of them were trying to search of a way to go down to Edom for the last few days. They put their differences aside and focused on saving their son, their _boy_ and Maryse wasn’t about to give up. Of course not. Robert promised to her that he was going to ask officials from the Clave for help, but in Maryse’s opinion, those things took far too much time. Every passing day was meant lost time and she decided to take matters in her own hands, but didn’t know how to. She needed some help.

And that was exactly what she was doing, searching for help, going over to Lucian’s place as she called him earlier and asked if she could come over so that they could talk. She hadn’t seen Luke since the day Lilith had been defeated and she knew that things were rough on him as well. At the end of the day, he lost his _daughter_ that day, so she was quite surprised when he agreed to help her with trying to find Alec. Maryse didn’t really tell Luke what had happened with Alec, because she didn’t want to make this all about her, but gave Luke a general idea of what was going on. Maybe Luke’s pack would be able to offer some help with bringing Alec back. She doubted that, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Luke had connections, unlike her _now._ She was de-runed and… worthless.

Maryse shook her head, sighing. Dealing with being de-runed hadn’t been easy on her. She put on a brave face in front of the others and even though she didn’t hold back her feelings from her children how she truly felt about it, dealing with it was still work in progress. That was why she liked to confide in Lucian because he _understood_ her how it felt like. How it felt reaching into the pocket for the _Stele_ , how to wish to go help on the missions and couldn’t… No, not anymore. She was a Mundane, no longer a Shadowhunter and she looked down, shaking her head and then took in a deep breath.

No, this wasn’t about her. This was about Alec. And Luke. She wanted to be there for Lucian like he was there for her when they talked that evening at the Hunter’s Moon. He had done so much for her and she just wanted to return the favour, walking up to Luke’s place and she knocked on the door a few times, but she received no replies. Maryse’s heart swell with pain and she decided to try opening the door, maybe it was unlocked, who knew. Much to her luck and surprise, the door was _unlocked_ , which was kind of odd from someone like Lucian, who always talked how safety was important.

“Lucian?” asked Maryse, gripping onto the scarf around her neck and she shuddered. The scarf was her safety blanket, wearing it helped her with slowly dealing how to accept that her runes were no longer there. She chewed on her lip and made her way into the living room, eyes wide when she found Luke on the couch, drinking and talking to himself. Maryse placed a hand over her mouth because there were plenty of empty bottles on the couch and she felt her stomach drop when she saw Luke.

He was a mess and didn’t even acknowledge her presence. Before, when they talked over the phone, he sounded kind of off, but not like _this._ Maryse felt her heart squeezing inside of her chest and she quickly made her way over to the drunk werewolf, who was drinking himself into stupor to forget about his heartache. “Lucian,” tried Maryse again and Luke finally lifted his gaze up, his eyes unfocused as he was trying to look at her. “Hey, it’s me Maryse, how are you-”

“Maryse, hi,” said Luke, his speech awfully slurred and he quickly stood up, swaying on his feet as he slowly tried to make his way over to the woman, who was watching him with worry and pain in her eyes. “Look-looking lovely as ever,” he said and hiccupped, Maryse noticing traces of fresh tears on his cheeks and she had to take in a deep breath. “We-welcome,” he said and then waved with his hand across the room. “Should I get you something to drink? Eat? Want a-”

“Lucian, please sit down,” said Maryse and then shook her head. She shouldn’t had come asking for help, she wasn’t going to ask for help from Lucian. It wouldn’t feel right asking him for help. Of course not, not when he had just lost his _daughter._ Maryse felt stupid, she really did. At least Alec was still alive. Stuck in Edom, but still, he was alive. She pressed her lips together and luckily, Luke decided to listen and he sat down. It wasn’t like he could keep standing up anyway as his vision had gotten blurry and he felt sick down to his stomach. Tears went back to his eyes and Maryse quickly made way to the couch and sat on top of it, Luke looking at her.

“Maryse…”

“Oh, Lucian,” stammered Maryse and leaned closer to the grieving man and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a hug. Luke froze for a moment or so, trying to clear his mind, but his head felt fuzzy and all that he could focus on was Clary, Jocelyn and no longer being a pack leader. Well, the latter was what mattered the least, but still. He managed to lose everyone; Jocelyn, Clary and his pack. _Everything_ was taken away from him and it was all of his fault. Because he wasn’t responsible, because he didn’t pay attention more. Because he was too focused on himself to actually give a damn about other people.

He should have spent more time with Clary after Jocelyn passed away, to be there to help her deal with accepting that she had lost her mother. He was there for her to some extent, but nowhere near enough. He should be more involved and now it was too late. He had done it again, took the time he had with Clary for granted. Like he had done with Jocelyn. He neglected her with his job and he was doing the same with Clary after he _promised_ to himself he wouldn’t do the same mistake again.

The pack made him choose between Clary and them and honestly, he didn’t regret walking away, because it had been the first right thing he had done in weeks. He allowed his pack to talk him into making Simon move. He regretted that too. He was just… a mess. So not being an Alpha anymore didn’t really matter that much to him, but it was still enough to bring him down. It was another thing that he _lost_. He had lost so many things and when that realisation hit him, he let out a loud sob and he wrapped his arms back around Maryse, cupping her head with one of his hands and he squeezed her closer, Maryse gently rubbing his back as Luke started to sob.

“It’s okay, Lucian, let it all out,” stammered Maryse and gritted his teeth. He had never seen the man so _wrecked_ before. Luke didn’t say much, but he was grateful that Maryse gave him the time to calm down and to get all of his feelings out. He had been doing that for five days straight, locked away in his apartment. But now that he got to share his feelings out oud loud with someone else in the room, it was different. Even though he was heavily intoxicated, he still felt every one of those feelings far too much. Alcohol just made his sorrow and heart-break stronger.

When Luke finally managed to calm down at least a little bit, he broke the hug and started wiping his tears away, shaking his head. He didn’t want to focus on himself anymore, he wanted to help Maryse out, keep himself busy because thinking about Clary’s death was going to drive him crazy. The guilt was unbearable. “So, you said you needed help?” asked Luke and sniffled.

“Oh, forget about that now,” said Maryse and shook her head. “You have a lot of things you’re going through and asking you for help now would be very selfish of me. Forget that, let me now just help you and-”

“No, I want to help. Please,” said Luke and shook his head. “I need to do something, because if not, this… _grief_ is going to drive me insane. All I do is sit here and think about how I’ve abandoned both Jocelyn and Clary. I didn’t cherish the time with them that I had and I wasn’t there for them when they needed me. No, all I cared about was-”

“Lucian, we both know this isn’t true,” said Maryse and gently placed a hand on top of Luke’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You haven’t’ abandoned them. You tried your best, did what you thought it was right at the time,” said Maryse, who had a lot of baggage of her own when it came to spending time with the kids. She also, in the past, focused way too much on her position in Idris and leave her children all alone, leaving Alec in charge of his younger siblings. As her thoughts wandered off to her son, she felt a lump forming in her throat and she swallowed thickly as she looked at Lucian.

“Don’t,” stammered Luke. “When I was still with Jocelyn, I rather paid more attention to my job than helping her raise Clary,” he said and made a short pause. “And I wasn’t there for Clary like I should. She was _pushed_ into the Shadow world and had to deal with it all on her own,” said and Luke’s lower lip started trembling. “I was useless then, but I don’t want to be anymore. So, please, allow me to help. You said your son is in trouble?” asked Luke and Maryse slowly nodded and sighed, feeling her own eyes well up again.

“Alec, he’s, um,” stammered the woman and shook her head. “My boy’s stuck in Edom,” she said and Luke slowly nodded, because he remembered Maryse telling him about that. “He made a deal with _Asmodeus_ in exchange for Jace to be freed of Lilith’s control,” stammered Maryse and then shook her head. “But the demon is torturing my boy. Magnus cannot portal himself there, neither can other warlocks. I don’t know what Asmodeus wants to do with my son, but I just want to do _something_. I tried everything and I can’t seem to find a solution that would bring my boy back,” said Maryse and Luke’s eyes widened.

He didn’t know it was that bad.

“Maryse, I’m so-”

“It’s okay,” said the woman and shook her head. “Maybe you could help then if you feel like you can do it? Maybe you can ask your pack for help and…” started Maryse, but then her voice trailed off when Luke’s face fell again and horror filled her face. “What?” asked Maryse.

“I don’t have a pack anymore. I’m not their Alpha anymore,” said Luke and shook his head. “The pack made me choose between them and helping Clary and I chose her,” stammered Luke and bowed his head down, biting his lip.

“Of course, she’s your _daughter_ ,” said Maryse. “How could they ask of you to leave _your_ daughter?!” asked Maryse, because he was beyond pissed off when she heard what happened between Luke and his pack. Luke only shrugged and slowly looked up.

“And I failed both,” said Luke and shook his head. “Both my pack and my daughter,” said Luke and started breaking down again in front of Maryse.

Maryse sighed and shook her head. For the time being, she allowed herself to forget about herself and she focused on Luke instead. He needed her, he needed _someone_ Maryse wrapped her arms around Luke, pulling him in for another hug as Luke broke down in tears for the second time in a row now, Maryse holding her own tears inside, because she wanted to be strong for Luke and for Alec. But in the end, it got to her as well and she let her tears fall as well. There they were, two grieving parents, hugging, finding comfort in each other.

* * *

“I’m pretty sure it’s this way,” said Magnus. He and Jace were trying another method of tracking. They used one of Clary’s objects, poured potion on it and made it follow its owner, Clary. So the two of them were following Clary’s shirt and they were doing great for some time, until they lost trail of Clary again and the shirt fell flat on the floor and Jace narrowed his eyes.

The two of them were standing in a dark alley, facing the dead end. How in the world did Clary disappear at that spot?!

“Where is she?!” asked Jace, annoyed. He shouldn’t be annoyed at Magnus. It wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t help himself. Two days of tracking and nothing. Completely _nothing._

“I don’t know where she is,” barked Magnus back and Jace narrowed his eyes.

“Well, she couldn’t just disappear into thin air! Your potion isn’t working!”

“Ah, sure, blame me now!” snapped Magnus back and Jace groaned.

“Look!” he said. “Fighting won’t bring us any better to Clary and Alec.”

“The first smart thing that came out of your mouth today,” grumbled Magnus and Jace gave him a scowl.

“Do you think this is only hard on you?”

“I never said that,” said Magnus and ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe we need a stronger potion, we-” said Magnus and then stopped talking when he suddenly saw Jace grabbing at his _parabatai_ rune.

Jace knew something was wrong immediately. He couldn’t feel pain anymore. Since Alec had been trapped down in Edom, there was a constant pain present in his _parabatai_ rune, but not anymore. He narrowed his eyes and lifted his shirt up, trying to see if the rune was still there. Weight lifted off of his shoulders when he saw the rune, but something still felt _off._ Very, very off. Unlike always, he couldn’t feel Alec. It was like he died, he was gone.

“Jace?”

“I… I…” stammered Jace and grabbed his rune, closed his eyes and tried focusing on feeling Alec. _Nothing._ “I can’t feel Alec,” stammered Jace and Magnus’ eyes widened, heart falling to the pit of stomach and he reminded himself to keep breathe.

“What do you mean?” asked Magnus and Jace looked down.

“It’s like… our bond isn’t there anymore,” whispered Jace and that sent shivers up Magnus’ spine. “Alec’s gone,” he said and shook his head, Magnus’ horror growing.

“ _Gone?_ ” snapped Magnus.

“He’s not there anymore,” said the hunter and Magnus had to sit down as he felt sick down to his stomach and he couldn’t breathe. Jace leaned on the wall and gritted his teeth. But Jace didn’t feel any _pain,_ so Alec wasn’t dead, was he? Then just like that, Jace fell onto his knees as a pain shot through his body. It was excruciating pain, nothing he ever felt before. He yelled and yelled and Magnus just… screamed when he saw Jace checking up on his _parabatai_ rune, which was fading.

_Oh no, were they too late?_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and opinions are well appreciated =)  
> Come visit me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/) :)


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